Hi, I'm Christian

Does This Bow Tie Make Me Look Fat?..

2011-02-14T16:13:00.003-06:00

(...just kidding)

I don't know if you've been informed but I'm totally and completely in love, it's disgusting and a pain and it sucks...but absolutely worth it. I'll fill you in later. For now here is my Valentines day outfit...I traded red, pink, and white for black and blue and gold oh my! And it wouldn't be complete with a bow tie, right?

Bow Tie: Rooster

Shirt: H&M

Pants: American Apparel

Socks: American Apparel

Shoes: Cole Haan

Watch: Vintage find

I'll leave you with some Diana Ross & The Supremes - This Old Heart Of Mind (Weak For You), I love this song like no other.

XX

C.C.

Legs For Days

2011-02-12T18:54:00.010-06:00

So, here is my issue: To shave...or not to shave (the legs...)?

I've made it clear that short shorts will be a staple in my wardrobe this spring/summer which is why the debate of to shave or not to shave has come up.

Should men shave the legs? Especially when shorty got *~*~legs for days~*~*~ such as ME ME ME (narcissism!)

I'm thinking yes. Yes if your leg hair is very visible unlike these models for Jil Sander's collection (DON'T THE OUTFITS JUST LOOK LIKE CANDY!), where did the hair go?

Let us also not forget how unpleasant the reviews were when Brad decided to sport some short shorts on The Rachel Zoe Project.

And really, what would be the big deal? See I can picture my mother being very against this. She's great and I love her but she can be close minded and yet she has a gay son..so there's that. She would think of it as a female thing just like going to platinum blonde is okay if you're a girl but not a guy. I don't agree with her opinions on such things, obviously seeing as I've gone platinum before and because I've decided, yes they will be shaved at least once, one should try. And I'm all about making the clothes look better isn't that right, Mary-Kate? (Skip a meal or two...look great! woahwoahwoahJKJKJK)

Now that I've ranted on about practically nothing, I've discovered my real issue is not -to shave or not- it is, HOW to go about it and how should i even start?

Nair products or similar? Veet? Regular ole' razor and shaving cream, wax? I. Just. Don't. Know. Who does?? Help a gay out!

On an unrelated side note:

I'm so glad you came in here tonight, I'm so itching to dance I can't even stand it! And I was counting on dancing with you...IT'S A SATURDAY NIGHT AND I FEEL ALRIGHT SO COME ON LET'S DANCE, LOOOOOK AT MEEEE! All I WANNA DO IS A BUMP WITH YOU!

XX

C.C.

I Like My Roses Yellow

2011-02-11T17:39:00.002-06:00

Let's talk sex and clothes..and of my occasional cravings for wine and chocolate?

C. C.

I want more floral for men. Give it to me Spring collections!

Model: Francisco Lachowski (current obsession)

Fact.

2010-10-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

Never do that thing where people fall in love, it'll ruin you.

The bitch is back.

Miss me?

Happy Birfday AMUUURICAAA!

2010-07-04T15:26:00.002-05:00

It's summer. Lazy days. Late Nights. Adventures getting out of control. You know the deal.

I noticed (although it often happens in the summer) STRIPES. Dey be ERRWHERE I go. I'm all, excuse you. I was looking for stripes and nautical themed things way long ago, when none were being made, arg! I have a new prediction I keep telling everyone. I believe that next summer, polka dots will take over like stripes are doing now. And hopefully a different print will take over the floweral craze. It's getting insane the amount of floral I see...like I'm skipping through fields of flowers *~*magical*~*.

WHO'S HAVING A GOOD SUMMER?

They say...

2010-06-15T19:33:00.003-05:00

Blondes have more fun.

I'll keep you updated on that. Like it? I love it. It's all thanks to my wonderful hairstylist Libby. Click HERE for her blog that she hasn't updated in a while but she's great so follow her. She calls me pussy cat and she looks like Leighton Meester so what is there not to love.

I keep looking in the mirror and forgetting who I am.

I'm glad the blonde finally happened.

Christian Castillo

Take 2.

2010-06-14T19:04:00.004-05:00

Currently loving this song. Found from listening to stereomood.com it's an awesome website. You just pick your mood and it gives you pretty decent music. I'm too lazy to download music so I usually just go to websites like that or hypem but that is boring me lately.

MUSIC SUGGESTIONS?

Quick outfit post, this is one of my favorites.

Hey There, Sailor!

2010-06-13T20:45:00.003-05:00

I'm going BLONDE. I'm so excited, it's happening in two days. Tuesday, to be exact. I've been wanting to be blonde for far too long so the time has finally come. Summer is here! I graduated, done with high school. I don't think it's hit me yet that I'm done I keep thinking I have to go to school.

Hype my new look ;), you know you wanna.

Lately, I've been really into looking like, I am about to get on a yacht. That's whimsical feeling. Having my hair look like it's been blown by the wind. Stripes! In particular blue and white stripes. Boat shoes, hats, gold jewelry, suspenders, leather. You name it. I'm looking forward to having a lot more outfit posts and posts in general.

Apologies for all how M.I.A. I was. Hope you're all feeling sassy.

Bags, bags, bags.

2010-05-26T21:55:00.003-05:00

1st bag: Marc Jacobs, 2nd bag: YSL

Let me state the obvious, it’s getting hot (and if you’re from the mid west like I am, it’s also the humid). Thus looking classy or even having the will to do so is getting hard. Thank the lord for the American Apparel tank tops and short shorts (that are just long enough). That is all beside the point, summer is here and a must have is a bag (to carry deodorant, cologne/perfume, extra change of clothes, sunglasses, water bottles, etc!). Not just for the women out there but also for the men (…call it a murse all you want but at the end of the day my pockets aren’t the ones full of crap, my bag is). Yet, I haven’t seen many that excite me. Sure I have the Lady Gaga totes sold at H&M and I have a nice pleather briefcase I carry everywhere. But they aren’t satisfying my need for bags.

I’d do anything to get my hands on a Marc Jacobs bag or even, dare I say it…a Chanel 2.55. Stumbling across Krystal Simpson’s blog I found something rather interesting she (along with 3 other bloggers) designed a limited edition coach bag for this summer 2010 which appeared on the Coach website on May 19. The prices range from 398 to 498 dollars. They aren’t necessarily for me (the male). In the collection you will find: Karla’s black clutch with gold detailing. Emily’s dreamy cotton candy pink satchel, Kelly’s drawstring pouch and Krystal’s fringe shoulder bag. I highly recommend these, ladies! I think what’s cooler is that coach reached out to these independent fashion bloggers and not only that but that these bloggers have the power to be able to get such an opportunity. As for the guys out there? I’m still desperately looking for a masculine bag that doesn’t try to hard to be one and that still has details and something soft to it. And hell, I’ve decided that if I can’t find it — I’m going to go ahead and make it myself.

I recently wrote this as a guest blogger on Allied Styles you should definitely check them out, they're website just got redone and it's looking fabulous I do say.

Life updates: I've been working working working. Graduating soon! Sorry for the terrible blogging, once school ends I'll be updating more regularly. My birthday is tomorrow, I can not wait. 18. I'm gonna go to a gay club, naturally. Also I might go blonde for the summer. A natural light dirty blonde. Hmm :) and a p.s. thank you to all my readers.

BONKERS (and saddness, but only a little!!!)

2010-04-19T23:20:00.005-05:00

Op. Hey there. I just got done being *artsy* and lyke $0 ~~creative!1!!

So there.
(that'z obvi paint on mis manos, that's Spanish for *my hands* y'all) (SPEAK ENGLISH OR GTFO) (I'M KIDDING.) (CAPS~~~)

It's 11:29 PM and I'm feeling extra sassy and I just wanna get get shiny (I totally just stole Platform Princess's word.)

Let's talk about life. I don't know what I am doing. I think I'm gonna just work in *retail* because I love clothes and I think this point has clearly been made. I want a camera since I've been borrowing my mom's. Nothing too fancy just good..enough. I'm running out of things to say. I'm not gonna beat around the bush, if you live in NY let me live with you. We'll go out all the time. Make out with strangers, have conversations in a non sober state of mind, make our living quarters cute. We'll fall in love with people and then cry and drink champagne and watch Factory Girl when they stop loving us. But then we'll fall in love again. #ilikethesetwitterthingys #so I'm gonna add them #tumblr has them too #!!@!@!@#$%

I just think people are so boring these days. You know who isn't boring? The XX I can't stop listening, I can't! They're so good, if I could pour them into coffee, I promise I would!!!!

I'm trying to think if this post has a point or not.

OH where it says tumblr up there ^ click it. CLICK IT OR I'LL THROW UGLY THINGS AT YOU.
(no, not really.)

but I posted some art and funny videos and *cute* things. So since....I have nothing else to say I'll post this depressing mini story I wrote. k. --fdgadHERE:

Sometimes I feel like I've lost it. As if I've gone completely bonkers. A year ago I would have never imagined, maybe dreamt, but definitely never would have thought that it would all becoming a reality. Dreams, it's funny, right. We all have dreams and we all ask for miracles but more often than not (if you really believe) dreams will always prevail and looking for miracles almost always fails. I don't know why I get like this around this time. Sometimes it seems like we're all looking to get hurt. That may sound crazy but life would be so boring without it. Getting built up all the time to be knocked down, it's the fall that's the most exhilarating. And why is everyone always so scared of love? I can't say that I'm not. It scares me dead. I enjoy people, I really do. But...to me having another half is frightening. How come I need it? And what happens when they leave. It'll always happen. Then, I think about being with that person for the rest of my life. I was never good at sharing and I'm selfish in the best way. Besides it's no good for me because I think I fall in love everyday. And if I think that, how will I ever know who truly is the one? What I mean to say is that I'm not sure about...well, anything really. Maybe the weather has got me down or perhaps I've been listening to too many sad songs or hell I even got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. We all feel that way, don't we? Everything I'm a slave too is what brings me down and I guess I never fully feel happy. I've gotten so good at lying that I often forget to tell myself the truth or maybe I just don't know it all. I didn't believe them when they told me that once you had everything you wanted, happiness still wouldn't come. I have the world on my fingertips but I never thought about how heavy it be. I always disliked people like me. Having everything they wanted, messing around with people like toys. I laugh because I think I may finally understand the one person I've had on my mind for so long. I think I get how he feels and maybe even why it all happened like it did. He bothered me the most. I always get people eventually, I always figure out who they are. I always predict, read between the lines. Some days I think that's what makes me feel lonely. That's why when that one person came along I was in pure shock. It was like a pure new drug, I wanted more. I completely malfunctioned; after all I am a machine. Then I was cut off from it. It was gone, relapse. All this happy shit happened and still I find myself wondering. Why did I slide the knife across my arm that night? Sickly enough I say it with a smile. I feel like I take secrets like your stereotypical suburban housewife pops pills. And the weight of them all was starting to make my bones weak and on top of it I both was and am living all these imaginary lives. That night, I concluded that maybe just perhaps if I bled everyone would be able to hear. A silent scream, if one allows. The pain wasn't what got me, I was mesmerized by the fact a science teacher once told the class. The blood is blue until it meets with oxygen and then it turns into the crimson red we see, doesn't that seem strange to you? I ask too many questions I know. But I'm scared. Unlike most, I want change constantly and lately I've felt I haven't gotten enough of it. A lot of the times I do things to have a story, or, to just enjoy life. Even if it hurts, because I don't think people do that enough.

Memories of Rose

2010-04-18T15:23:00.001-05:00

Rose; Age 10:
"I solemnly swear, to love you forever," Rose whispered into the petals of the delicate flowers as she stood and watched her garden. She wore a silly crown made of paper, speckled with glitter. At her feet lay two adorable creatures. Elegant kitties, oh they were a sight. One of them, Ruffles, wore a pink bow while the other, Pockets, wore a blue bow -- both made of satin. Together they purred and looked up at Rose, a pale girl with soft blushed cheeks. She petted them with affection, giggled as their soft snow white fur tickled her palms. Rose, was happy. She looked up at the sky and suddenly threw her arms and gave a spin, laughing all the while. She held her silly crown in front of her and sighed.
"Wouldn't it be wonderful to be a Queen, Ruffles?" She asked more to herself than the cat, "and oh how much fun it would be, Pockets," she murmured looking at her bare feet.
She thought of all the things she would do as Rose the Queen, long may she have lived. She would wear only the most exquisite gowns. In shades of course of, Rose reds; and subtle yellows, all kinds of blues, pearly whites, magical pinks, fairy greens, sheer glittery blacks. Just about any color besides orange she didn't think that suited her skin very well. Besides she'd look like a pumpkin! She would go and dance at all the balls. People would admire her beauty. She would dance with grace -- in fact so much -- that everyone would think she was floating across that marble floor. And painters from all over the world would come rushing with their paint brushes and funny hair to observe her and paint her at all stages of her life. Don't forget the poets and musicians. Her eyes lit up as she thought about how marvelous men would compose orchestras in her honor.
"Long live Queen Rose!" She shouted quietly, "and long live her beautiful kitties, Pockets and Ruffles," she looked at them with the most loving smile.
Rose would often lose days like this, imagining and wishing she could live happily ever after.

Just a little something I wrote, I plan on continuing it.

Is There life on Mars?

2010-03-24T21:47:00.007-05:00

Lookbook.nu: factory

I watched Factory Girl today and it topped the list of favorite movies. At the moment half of my heart belongs to Factory Girl and the other to Almost Famous. Its funny, because when I think about it, I've always been fascinated with the concept of fame and the trashy glamour that hugs it. I'm talking way far back to since I was a youngin' as in 7+ years old. The lives of models and socialites, artist and actors have forever intrigued me. Instead of playing with cars I'd imagine and pretend to live a famous life.

The story of Edie Sedgwick left me both heartbroken and confused. Andy Warhol's help in destroying her makes me feel uneasy about loving his work yet much like Edie I too can't bring myself to not adore him, oddly enough.

Edie Sedgwick was an 'It' girl and we all know 'It' girls are much more exciting when we get to see their down fall. Queens being thrown of their luxurious thrown. The crumbling of their kingdom, theres something strangely beautiful in all of that. Wouldn't you agree?

*I accidentally pressed the reject button to the last 3 comments, sorry about that :(. Still got to read them on my email! Thank you.

BACK.

2010-03-20T20:56:00.002-05:00

Guess who is back?

*Please note, the shiny white brace-less teeth.

I can't even begin to explain my world in this post. I'd like to address the big issue, my mom. She's definitely come around. She learned to see past it. While it still irritates her a little, she got herself therapy to make her understand, it's ok to be gay. My dad has been so supportive and so have all of you. All of your emails, comments -- wow. Could I have better readers? In fact because of all of you I have faith in humanity again. That may sound dramatic but uh, it's so true.

I am now the owner of a car and will be getting my license when I turn 18 this May.

After a week of hell, so many things went right.

I hope you all have seen Alice in Wonderland? I happen to love it. It's very in correlation with the book (which I've read like..5 times..) I'm so glad it was not based off the Disney Film which is cute but not great. The book is a masterpiece of art. It was a bit cheesy at parts but over all, came to my expectations. I loved how sassy the Red Queen was. The White Queen was a bit annoying. And I adored the actress who played Alice. Also the cat was the cutest thing ever.

Expect lots more posts.

I'm off to enjoy the world and party and what not.

xx christian castillo

xx

2010-02-20T17:21:00.001-06:00

words can't describe how much you have all helped. More on this later. I just wanted to let you all know, I'm OK as of now. I could be better of course, but, suicide or running away no longer consumes my life.

You guys are all the best.

I'll try to remember as you were before this:

2010-02-17T17:07:00.003-06:00

My mom found out I was gay.
To say that she wasn't happy is an understatement.
At this point I'd rather be dead.
I want to leave and get out but I can't until this summer.
And I'm already planning it.
I'll play her little games.
But once this summer hits, I'm gone. That's my goal.
I'd never think I'd say that about my hero.
The person I looked up to the most.
The person that in my eyes could do no wrong.
I thought we could get past this.
But I really can't forgive anymore.
She has put me through hell and back and it still won't stop.

Today I drank some cough medicine I found because I could. I grabbed wine out of the fridge because I no longer care. I let a beautiful metal violate my skin. And I could give a fuck. I spend my days sleeping like a zombie.

The only thing that keeps me going is revenge.

She told me she loved me. But any emotion I had towards her has died just as the mom I knew has.

It's funny how much good I talked about her. How I've always defended her. My whole family is fucked up, my aunt won't, even let me take care of her baby. Just yesterday she called to ask my LITTLE BROTHER to go watch her.

The sad part? The one person I hated for years of my life, my dad. Is the only reasonable one.

I cry for several seconds at times and then it passes. Because this feels like an out of body experience.

I thought maybe if I just explain to my mom everything, she'll be fine. I got out my favorite movies, my sketchbook, got my blog prepared, got my favorite blogs up as well. Pictures of me and friends. My favorite books, a letter my friend wrote me. But she never got to see any of it. When I told her, I am gay it is not a phase, she looked at me with disgust the way you do at your enemy, or trash, or a bad smell. And she directly told me that I was disgusting if I wanted to be with men.

I don't know what to do. I'm lost. I'm tired. I want to give up, give in, give out.

Some Sketches + McQueen

2010-02-13T11:51:00.003-06:00

Hello everyone! (lack of posts=sick.)

Exciting News: My mom randomly came home with a MacBook Pro. Out of no where. I almost cried. lYk3 0MG $o0o mAterIaliztics~*~. Get over it.

So today I figured a good cure to my hangover was to sketch. So I did. The first one is my personal favorite. I have a thing for drawing creepy things (like the Unicorn at the end!). I used to be obsessed with drawing anorexic girls. Now I want to put bows on everything. I didn't take pictures of some ballerinas I've been sketching. And then there are the Marie Antoinette inspired ones (i.e. first sketch) I just recently started enjoying the whole drawing process again.

What else is new?

I really think I might just move out to New York. I mean, what is stopping me? Why should I go waste money on school when I know I'll be miserable -- might as well just take a year off and then go back. I just want to freelance write and style. If you got the hook up, tell me. I'm just so bored with everything, you know?

Also I think I've been saying this for a while but my blog needs a face lift. That's just a random note to myself.

OF COURSE I CANNOT FORGET TO MENTION:

Alexander McQueen, may his beautiful, creative, strange soul rest in peace. It's so sad. I really felt like I could not function the day I heard that, it was surreal. From what I read, he didn't want to out live his mom and she died a few days before his suicide. Of course one can't assume that is the reason. There is also the strange coincidence that three years prior to that day, Isabella Blow, the designer responsible for his fame had ended her own life (and people blamed him for her death, psh). It's so sad to see someone like that vanish from existence. Although he never really will. LONG LIVE MCQUEEN.

Grouper and a Social Issue.

2010-02-03T19:23:00.004-06:00

LOOKBOOK.nu: grouper

I titled this Grouper because it's the name of my character for a monologue I'm doing in my theater II class. It's from a play titled Out of Gas on Lovers Leap by Mark St. Germain and I really like it. I've read most of the beginning of it and the end but I have some left in the middle. It's basically about this guy named, Grouper and this girl - Mystery that goes by Myst. The names alone I love. They're both pretty fucked up and this all takes place on their graduation night (from White Oaks Academy, an exclusive boarding school for students with "behavioral disorders."). His dad is a senator and her mom is a famous rock star. As I said they're both pretty screwed up. Anyways, the whole place is just them talking and fighting. And at one point they talk about what shitty people they are. Grouper, talks about what he feels most guilty of. And it's revealing his friend secret in seventh grade. His only friend. And Myst's is a little more disturbing - she saw all the attention her cousin (I believe...don't feel like checking) is getting from having got her period. And sense Myst liked the attention and love from her family...she decided to erhm, speed up the process with a razor. And when everyone finds out that "she got her period" her mom returns and spends time with her. So it continues, and sadly enough, they jump off a cliff at the end, aka: Lovers Leap.

One quick thing about world issues y'all!: Fuck this "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. I mean, who cares. We did it with racism, (you know,)interrogated the troops, we can do it again. And what makes me more mad is the fact that if someone finds out someone is gay, they can get discharged or "honorable discharge." if they get told on. Whatever. That's just rude - they're (the gheyz) serving THEIR country while it's telling them that it's not okay to be who you they are? Or that "it is" but just don't tell anyone? DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE BRAINS? What do they think that if they tell, all of a sudden, they'll turn everyone within a few feet into raging homosexuals! Oh wait the argument is that "it's for their safety." HEY! HOMOPHOBES IN THE ARMY? GET OVER IT.

Thus I conclude !
xx y'all

I like the way glitter sounds..

2010-02-01T21:17:00.006-06:00

^I took this ;)

*(The picture above is a picture my friend Leah took: Tumblr /Flickr)

"In one of his notebooks, Leonardo Da Vinci, wrote: The unicorn through its intemperance and not knowing how to control itself, for the love it bares to its fair maidens. Forgets its ferocity and wildness and laying aside all fear will go up to a seated damsel and go to sleep in it's lap...and thus the hunters take it."

I Love Unicorns by Carnie Jerkwater (have this song on repeat.) <3

Lately I've had a thing for gray. Sifting through my closet, I realized how much of it I had and I do not have one problem with it. I have my dashes of color but for now I'm happy with these monochromatic shades of gray type of deal. How great is that last picture? I'm so making a version of that. I can't figure out on what I want it yet -shirt, hoodie, sweater, cardigan. Who knows, who knows! Suggestions?

I've recently bought a boat load of clothes. And will hopefully be posting some pictures ASAP.
I've been in this dreamy mood lately. I always get this way after watching The Virgin Suicides. I need to write more and catch up on my reading. I'm starting The Road by Cormac McCarthy.

I also have an infatuation with collar bones currently. I don't know if I've mentioned this. I probably have.

Hope you're all swell xx

Where the Wild things at, baby prostitute?...

2010-01-27T23:08:00.002-06:00

LOOKBOOK.nu: where the wild things are

Let the wild rumpus start! I loved that movie. Can't wait till it comes out on DVD. I must watch again. Also a moment of silence for the owl on the bracelet. It fell of at some point today. I almost shed a little tear. It was so cute and now it's just lost. I hope it lands in the right hands. Like a little boy or girl who appreciates it. Recently got this green cardigan. I don't own much green so I thought it was a great add on to my ever expanding closet.

Some days I think I need to go to some sort of shopaholic rehab. If I could go shopping 4/7 days of the week, I would

Not much to say. I have to go work on a paper. If I were to play three characters, which ones would I chose...hmmmm this is gonna take forever, I always found the straight males mind intriguing (in, huh that's weird, kind of way). Or I a male escort, like you know, a classy one? 4,000 per hour +extras. Ca$h money rulezzz$$$ everything around me bitches!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 LAWLZ~~!!!!1!!

Sleepy Time Tardy Party

2010-01-25T21:02:00.003-06:00

LOOKBOOK.nu: sleepy time

I took this sometime around 12 am two nights ago. I'm not sure why I just really liked the the outfit. Although it was a 'sleeping outfit' it reminded me of an early hobo chic mary-kate. Minus all the bangles and huge necklaces and what not. Ha. Plus I felt in the mood for pictures. ME ME ME. Funny story goes along with that flannel. One night while out partying. My friend Caitlin and I were a bit...erhm, well, you know. And we went to a house across from the one we were at. Because apparently there was a party there. But there wasn't only a cool rave looking glow in the dark room. So what do we do?

Plug Caitlin's iPod into some speakers and bump and juke and grind to 'Tardy for the Party' if you haven't given it a listen, you really should. But all the while this happened I spotted this shirt thrown in a corner. And my only thought was, "I MUST HAVE IT!" So, I took it. That sounds
terrible, I'm aware. But it had probably been down there for days. It's so soft.

I went thrifting today (woo). And scored the most amazing blazer. Dark blue with gold buttons on the detailing on them is phenomenal. I'll lookbook that up later. I also got some fun socks, hobo gloves, a green cardigan, some jewelry, some presents for friends, nerdy glasses. Alas I am addicted to shopping.

Yellow

2010-01-23T16:46:00.005-06:00

LOOKBOOK.nu: breaking it up

Just an outfit I wore the other day. I feel I photograph shorter than I am. That is beside the point. I've recently been obsessed with Mean Girls and haven't been able to stop quoting it. It's getting repulsive, but, I love the movie. Although I hate the ending. It's sickening. It's just goes down hill after Cady and Aaron kiss at the dance. Everything should of gone back to bitchy and what not, maybe with a little twist but not, 0mgZZ w3 lOVE eachother ~~*~~ <3 <3 <3 BFFLZ 4 lYfe. Ugh. So totally ruined the movie.

Anyways. I hope you're all having a good weekend.

So far, so good.

xx

Photo: Jeans; Levi's/Vneck;BDG/Cardigan;Express/Bag;H&M/Shoes;UrbanOutfitters/Glasses;RayBan/Hat;H&M

Dreaming of: Burberry and YSL

2010-01-18T18:28:00.005-06:00

Lookbook.nu: Shades of Grey

I didn't do much today. The first semester of senior year is ending. I keep seeing the red LED light, going off on my blackberry....but it isn't. Sometimes I also hear it beep/vibrate when it doesn't. It creeps me out yo!

I'm all inspired by Burberry I mean let's take a look at these (from the recent live show):

These were my two favorite coats. Especially that first one. Oh the things I would do to own it...
No but seriously, I was blow away at the collection. I like the second one because I don't think I've ever seen something like it, well the shape yes, but not with that fabric. I drool and die and all sorts of things.

Could we also check out this guys fuckingawesomeoutofthisworldHOLYSHITbag:

If I had that first coat and this bag....
A funny story about YSL, of course not directly related to him! My friend and I were at Macy's looking at the perfume. When this beautiful foreign (not sure where from) woman working at the perfume counter asks ask if we wanted to smell the Yves Saint Laurent and she said it with the most graceful, magical accent/attitude. She was too fierce. I also just about died when she said, Jean Paul Gaultier it was too divine.

Clothes, A Sad Tale, and A Birthday Shout Out.

2010-01-17T17:31:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I think I'm bigger than the sound...

Got a new haircut. I like it. It'll look better as it grows out and gets cut the second time around. This is the cardigan I talked about in my last post that I got for 10$ on sale. I finally found a use for the shirt too. I got from a thrift type of a store a while ago in Minnesota. I just couldn't figure out where/how to wear it besides to bed.

It usually looks like that (with that orangey part and it's cut. At first I liked it but...). So I simply flipped it in and made it a v-neck. There is a Native American Chief on one end and it says 'Indians' on the other. With the number 23 on the back. "Racist" I know but I really love the color of it as well as the buttons on the cardigan.

I found out some sad news today. I'm in a group called Multico. It's a class at school you're chosen for. In a quick description we basically come up with sketches using personal experiences and research we've done. We then perform it for 30 sometimes elementary schools and include some Middle school ones. Eeeek Tuesday is our last show, I will cry. The last school we performed at there was a little kid with a full head brace. We later found out that he had been shot in the head and that's why he had it :/ also at that school there were two kids there who's dad tried to kill them and had killed their mom. It stories like this that remind me, all this shit I'm complaining about is nothing. At the time it's my biggest problem I have also remember that but I should also be aware that some people need help/money much more than I do. That's not to say no one should complain because you're not living that horrific story, but still, as I said just: Be aware! and thus I conclude my speech.

Today is also my little brother's birthday! So, Happy Birthday Oscar. I think you're really annoying half-actually probably much more-of the time but regardless I love you. You're 10! Woo hoo!

Picture: Cardigan;Koto/Tshirt;Ragstock/Corduroys;BDG/Bracelet;Mom's/Glasses;Ray Ban

I am Jesus, Hear me Rawr!

2010-01-17T02:18:00.004-06:00

Posted this on lookbook today. It's one of my favorite outfits.

At first I wasn't sure about wearing the scarf like so. Turns out it keeps you very toasty and it helped that lots of people seemed to enjoy this "new" way of wearing it. In fact I was even told my -quote-swag was outta control fresh-unquote and thus a goal in life was completed.

I got around to getting a bag today. I have too many things to carry all the time. And why shouldn't guys be able to carry bags? It's no fun having all these things in your pocket. Also got a great bargain at Urban Outfitters - a cardigan for $10 ! That was originally $38. I'm going back there hopefully tomorrow to buy a 10$ plaid that I am in love with plus it went so perfect with the cardigan.

sometimes I feel crazy materialistic having clothes and clothes and clothes and wanting so many and yet feeling like I need more because "I don't have enough!" especially when there are things like Haiti. What's your take on this?

Picture: Sunglasses;UrbanOutiffters/Circle Scarf;H&M/Blazer;H&M/Long Sleeve Stripped Tee shrit;BDG/Pants;BDG/Watch;Forever21/Gold Chain;H&M/Shoes;Urban Outfitters

Runway Dreaming...

2010-01-15T22:14:00.002-06:00

I posted this look on lookbook, We Love Animals. I secretly like these sort of walking wanna be runway pictures of me. Ahhh, one can only dream! I wore a really fun outfit today but I sadly can't find the camera so I'll have to take a picture of it sometime later.

Today I went shopping and got a really cool bracelet from Forever 21 (I know, I know. I have a hate/love relationship) It's like white yarn and gold tied and what not, picture later! Then from H&M I got this huge gold chain. I also got some fun striped socks! oh and a leather braided head band, just because.

GOD KAREN! YOU'RE SO STUPID!

2010-01-12T00:37:00.004-06:00

Ah, Mean Girls, what a grand movie.
I love espresso shots, how is it that I haven't had them before? Moving on. I love people watching, I really do. Today while at a restaurant that's all me and my friend did well besides gossip and what not of course. I pulled this outfit for tomorrow actually. I was awoken by a good friend at 12 pm (same one I had lunch with) and only had time to throw on jeans, a shirt, and leather jacket. My hair was looking like quite the douchebag.

So I got home and showered. I've been feeling very preppy and uppity lately. Plus I love the gold bracelet. It's actually from a belt from forever21 that was a bit fake/inspired Chanel. I kept that end of it. And just turned into a simple chain bracelet. I found this cardigan I think two years ago (?) at express. And I love it. That little gold harry potter like thing. The jeans are obviously Levi's and the shirt belonged to a friend's dad. I really like the way these turned out.

Also can someone tell me why the pictures are always shit quality on here when I upload them?

Also I went ahead and got a LOOKBOOK hype me or whatever ~~~*~~~

"Some say your work is pornographic..."

2010-01-11T00:46:00.003-06:00

"I know, isn't it great?" (I need to watch, Factory Girl, now!)

This might sound weird but all day I keep hearing bubbles pop. I swear I'm not on any drugs/alcohol influence. Unlike the last post. I keep hearing damn bubble pop though! And everytime I think of Lady Gaga's song, Speechless.

"You popped my heart seams on my bubble dreams."

And speaking of dreams, I haven't remembered a dream of mine for a long time now. Once upon a time I used to be obsessed with analyzing my dreams. And it was actually a lot of fun. Lately, I've also become really drawn to the whole astrology/zodiac thing. Not the shitty horoscope, the actual stuff.
I hope you all had a good weekend.

edit: Black Corduroys-BDG / Shirt-BDG / Sunglasses-Urban Outffiters

Because. The World is Falling Apart...Yeah.

2010-01-10T12:12:00.001-06:00

Disaster: the 4 am edition. from Christian Castillo on Vimeo.

I thought this might entertain all of you. Cheers to the weekend y'all.

Um...you see...what had happened was...

2010-01-06T23:22:00.003-06:00

Oh. Christian? Is that you? That's funny I could of sworn you abandoned this blog.
I didn't folks.

Tomorrow I'll finally be getting together with Bailey to work on this blog idea we've been talking about and I'm really excited, sometimes it get lonely alone, you know? I'll still update on here and probably my posts will just be links/whatever we over there. I hope you will all follow the other blog once we get it going. That be awesome and I'd kiss and hug all of you. Expect outfit posts from now on.

Christian has been sad lately. He should also stop talking in third person, but he doesn't want too. So get over it.

off to look at all your lovely blogs now.
xx

QUESTION: What is your opinion on taking a year off after high school?

edit: Pants-BDG /Shirt-(Don't remember what brand) Urban Outfitters /Jacket-American Apparel /Glasses-Ray Ban / Virgin Mary bracelet-moms closet / Watch-Forever21

Dropped the O & E and stuck with the LV

2009-12-26T01:52:00.003-06:00

I'm sorry I've ignored this here for so long. Paper Heart is a movie I recently watched. I think I expected it to be better but nonetheless it was still a cute film to smile about. A documentary about 'Love' by a girl who doesn't believe in it. And lately that's all that's consumed my thoughts. This whole idea about love. I think, I used to believe in it. And I'll confess that I still sometimes do. But I've seen too many people by shattered by it. Lost too many friends to it. And I hate it. Ironic no? Hate love. There were some amazing stories there that pulled me back but for the most party just as Summer Fin of (500) Days of Summer believe love is fantasy.

When I do believe in it. I don't want too because if all good things must come to an end...

I think love could be one night. A moment two people share, a secret between them and only them.

BUT THAT'S JUST WHAT I THINK, CHU KNOW.

Lust over Love that's what I say.

“Dropped the O & E and stuck with the LV.”

I got lots of money$ for Christmas and I shall be using it tomorrow for lots of new clothes since lately I hate all my clothes but I'm beginning to find new ways of putting it together. I've also found myself sketching a lot lately, even got a new sketch book. I like this. Sometimes it's good to be alone, chuknow?

For NewYears I plan on wearing a sequined bow tie. Get off my jock bitches.

xx 'tis all y'all!

happy holidays!

Striped Obsession...rehab?

2009-12-14T01:37:00.004-06:00

I want my closet to look like this. Er at least part of it. I'll admit...I recently have been struck with the most curious obsession to all things striped especially when its white and navy blue/royal blue stripes. I can't help myself. I go nuts. I was almost willing to spend 40 buckeroos on a sweater that shouldn't cost anymore than maybe 15$ just because I felt I needed I needed !! Luckily some friends talked me out of that.

Also, saw Steve Aoki on saturday. NO BIG DEAL. More on that later.

Gahhh finals are coming up this week. Die? Yeah.
The snow is not okay.

I Like Flower Prints, What?

2009-12-10T00:45:00.008-06:00

Katie from Faux as F*ck tagged me for this blogger survey and I guess they're supposed to be one word answers but really...that's impossible for me to do. So I'll keep 'em short. And also, I can't stop listening to the new Gaga album, who's with me? Also I realize the title of this post has nothing to do with it, but I do! Example A: Rose Print Socks (I want! I want!) Example B: My last post!

1. Where is your phone? Desk.

2. Your hair? Dark brown.

3. Your Mom? I love her very much even though she's kind of crazy controlling sometimes.

4. Your Dad? I love him deep down but for the most part, money.

5. Your favorite meal? My mother's cooking.

6. Your last dream? Out of control and all sorts of wild.

7. What do you like to drink? Water and Booze - have recently cut out soda eeek!

8. Your dream? To be successful and enjoy what I do.

9. In what room are you? My bedroom.

10. Your hobby? Writing and making people look good/shopping.
11. What are you afraid of? Just ending up completely alone and bitter and ugly.

12. Last travel? I don't really travel, sadness inserted here.

13. Where were you last night? My bed being all peaceful and sleeping.

14. Something you are not? Boring.

15. Muffins? Chocolate chip. Bluffin with my Muffin'. harhar.

16. Wishlist? Ohmyohmy. No idea, so many things. Basically all of contextclothing.com and a man purse. Preferably leather and of the Prada brand.

17. Where did you grow up? Mexico for 7 years and then good 'ole Wisconsin.

18. Last thing you did? BBMed.

19. What are you wearing? Brown courdoys (BDG) long sleeve blue shirt thingy (Guess) and a grey cardigan (AA) (also see pictures^)

20. Your television? Big.

21. Your pet(s)? None.

22. Your friends? So fucking weird but so hot which is why I love them.

23. Your life? A lovable hot mess.

24. Your temper? Meh, just don't get on my bad side.

25. Do you miss someone? A lot. A lot. A lot.

26. Your car? Yo, I can't even drive.

27. Something you don't bring with you? STDs!

28. Your favorite shop? If I could afford -- Context Clothing

29. Your favorite color? Seafoam green.

30. Last time you laughed? Hm hour ago?

31. Last time you cried? A little yesterday.

32. Your best friend? Hot bitches.

33. A place where you can go again and again? Hmm...

34. Facebook? Loves it. Stalking tool.

35. Favorite place to eat? Right now: FlatTop

I'm gonna go ahead and tag Raez one of my favorites :) from Cheap Thrills.

Check out: Stampd'LA

2009-12-07T19:41:00.004-06:00

How cool are these? --And this is isn't the only pair of shoes Stamd'LA has got me hooked on. They've certainly have made a name for themselves since last years debut often appearing in both NYLON and NYLON guys which is where I first saw them, on the 'Sneaker Pimps' spread -- where nothing but the Chris' Floral (pictured above) caught my attention. Other magazines include WARP and Super Super among more. Stamp'LA has also been on many Asian magazines such as MILK from Hong Kong who featured a two page spread on their September '09 issue. The Fall/Holiday 2009 collection is blending of 90's and today, bubbly patterns and bold simplicity and then throw in some acid. They mostly range from $95-99 which I don't think for what they are is bad at all. To get them you'll most likely have to shop online, which is totally fine their website is so easy to navigate through and while you're there check out their sweet blog which includes pictures of their models wearing the Stamp'LA shoes out and about.

Wonderland

2009-11-29T20:41:00.007-06:00

Finally got started with taking some pictures. The last 3 are the same but I made one black and white and tweaked the lighting moodish. That's the only editing I did :) so I'm pretty proud the rest I just messed around with the camera no clue what I was doing but I got that ^ and I'm happy. Any comment/critique is appreciated.

Anyways kiddies here is a little rant I wrote for a new magazine in Milwaukee, more details on it later, hope you like:

A question I often find myself pondering is: why do clothes even matter? And I know I'm not alone. Of course there are those who like to think, well they don't and that to me is just all sorts of silly. Simply because we will always judge and be judged by our cover, let's be realistic kiddos. I don't find this particularly wrong either. I don't mean to say that we should all wear suits and ties or females should only wear classy dresses and the like, no no no. If that were the case then I would have murdered Lady Gaga by now and well that is something I'd never ever do because I worship her. Because she does what I strive for: pushing peoples limits in fashion and to an extent their way of thinking. I know a designer by the name of Bec Wonders who has this whole vision of unisex. I mean I still want my guy clothes and no I will not wear a dress or skirt and girls can still have all their fun fancy things, but when they blend correctly, oh is it beautiful. Examples? This summer it wasn't only girls shirts that got lower, lots of male shirts had plunging neck lines. Then there is for example your simple oxford which can go both ways and not only that but goes along with all sorts of styles. My point is unisex is something of the future -- okay, cool Christian nice to know? -- well you see, clothes changes with history, in my humble opinion and to me that's why its important and not just something materialistic. It has a history worth knowing. Which is why when I wake up early in the morning the sun not even up yet I look at my closet and think for so long, who do I want to be today, how do I want to present myself?

--Christian Castillo

I've been M.I.A.

2009-11-23T19:15:00.002-06:00

Many apologies for not responding to comments/reading your blogs/updating. I just need a break to figure it all out and I think this blog will have a very big makeover soon. Either that ORRR I'm going to be opening up a new blog aside to this where I will be with a partner. But I will still regularly post here. If you guys could be awesome and support the other blog that would do wonders for me and I'd love you further more. The other blog will feature so many fun fashion things :), it's very exciting. !!! .

Changes Are a Coming :)

2009-11-11T18:17:00.006-06:00

Sorry I've gone missing for a bit. I've just been re-thinking things. The past few weeks have gone splendid and dandy so let's knock on wood, please. I recently met up with Caitlin from Smile Like you Mean it. To my surprise it was so much more than I expected. Now being me, I can easily make situations awkward although I'm told it is more of a cute awkward than annoying awkward. Point for me? Moving on, our meeting was filled with non stop chatter and laughs. Which was really nice, I needed something like that badly. So thank you Caitlin!

Now! A treat for all of you, I hope. For all of you that read this, thank you a lot. Really. I don't know if you guys understand how much I appreciate all your comments. I was also looking and my blog feels a little all over the place. Which is fine, I like chaos, I'm attracted to it in the worst way possible. I think I'd like to give it more of a focus though. So for now, the party posts will stop. But I'll post pictures of my adventures and you guys can decipher my night ;) instead.

I'm getting a hold of a camera soon and with that I will do make over like posts. I usually take friends shopping and I've been known to push people's limits when it comes to clothes. Why not? I've learned that most of the time people actually love "weird" things. They just need a push here and there and someone to go, that looks awesome (unless it doesn't!).

I'll also be hopefully teaming up with some friends. The ones I know of so far are Bailey and Leah.

Bailey and I plan on going down to State Street (downtown Madison) and finding interesting people to take a picture of and ask some questions. A satorialist type of thing, just with like a mini interview attached. The idea was made during lunch just the other day. So I hope to get that started soon.

Leah and I are thinking of doing at DIY type of deal. There will be a tumblr for it and I'll also post it here.

-Sweatshirt
-Tee shirts
-Plush dolls

those are the few ideas we have so far but I'm thinking we can go far.

Also I'll be doing lots more interviews.

I'm kind of really super excited.

I HAZ A MUSTACHE?!

2009-11-01T22:50:00.003-06:00

"There is no use trying," said Alice; "one can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfest."

IT TAKES ALL THE RUNNING YOU CAN DO TO KEEP IN THE SAME PLACE.

I can't even begin to describe my weekend. I was a boy scout for Halloween (pictures later)

Let us sum it up: Party, Boy Scout, Old friends, Awkward, New friends, Model, Hats, Guilt, A little white lady, Kisses, Hugs, A few beds with laughter, Good music, New clothes, Dress up, Cute people, Disaster, Sad boy scout, Sleepover, A piano, A decision to head to New York for spring break, Audrey Hepburn, zombies, Fabulous things.

ohhh boy. Hope you all had fun.

Fedora; H&M

Confessions and Discoveries of the World and I

2009-10-25T04:14:00.001-05:00

Confessions and Discoveries of the World and I
Sometimes I like to play pretend.
I like to run in place.
I miss the way smoke hugged me that day and curled around me like a snake.
I like to lie when I don't have too.
I dream of going to the moon and wearing a sombrero.
A Bright Red Scream is the title of a book--
Where people talk of self-mutilation
The lesson learned: its not about wanting death but rather remembering to live, I guess.
Some people feel like they belong in castles.
Childhood memories are often found in food.
I like it when you say my name.
I tell my clothes I love them and whisper to them secrets...
Oh dear am I insane?
Someone once told me, everything happens for a reason.
Or was it, Jesus has everything planned out for us?
Even tragedies?
I remember a girl full of joy yelling, life is what you make it!
Yet despite it all, I still like to indulge in my horoscope, let the galaxy play out my life.
I sit here at 2:03 a.m.
I hear that loves is a scary thing.
And what does that make hate?
Isn't it funny how people change...
Once upon a time: you look in the mirror and can't believe who you've become.
My mother always told me, be careful who you judge because you may be them some day.
I look at magazines and wonder about fame.
I read a book and wear a cardigan...are all of us the same?
I kissed the same gender once and thought of polar bears.
We're all so insecure and fight so hard to laugh it off.
I kissed the opposite gender once and thought about the inner lives of butterflies.
I make my bed and fold my clothes and close my eyes.
My aunt she cries because I told her all about it taking advantage of I.
If you promise not to tell, I'll fill you in on how I let alcohol travel my veins.
I'm young and alive and could say that time is on my side.
I pretend I know so much. But? Really. I don't.
My favorite color is seafoam green and I sing way out of key.
Eventually everything blends.
Fuck you.
Maybe that's why I like shiny things?

--Christian Castillo

Poem I've been working on. Any lines I should take out? Critiques are good! Comments are fun too. The two pictures is me messing around with my friend Leah's camera. Ugh I don't know why they look so shitty on here (quality) hm. What do you think?

Where are all the classy people, All I see is trashy people....

2009-10-18T22:50:00.008-05:00

Blaire Waldorf is my new obsession ^^^

Where there is a Blaire, there is a Serena^ I'm aware she looks nothing like Serena. Thanks.

^^The Red Head beauty, Stepahani who I have fallen for <3

What a reckless weekend.
I was reminded that even though, yes, I might sit alone during lunch. I do it, because it's an aware choice I am making.
I can deal with fake to an extent in fact I can act right along. But lately I haven't been up to par. So I sit alone and eat and think and enjoy and when I have lunch with others well that's fun too.
I just have to reminds myself that outside this whole 'High School' thing I have amazing friends.
I'm so glad I've met all these people.
Like a recent text I read from the website textsfromlastnight.com--
(740): Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Here come the alcoholic comments. But really, I've met too many cool people. Like Blaire who I call Blaire Waldorf, or Ashley the cute black girl with big hair, or Stephanie the adorable redhead, or Lindsey a hot chick comparable to Kat Von D, and the list goes on.
And being reminded all of this just brightens everything up because as I look around school I realize how much the class I'm graduating with sucks.

And if you cared to know drunk people love hipster glasses. Well, drunk people pretty much love anything. But hipster glasses are a big hit, as are sombreros and shiny things. And as for the title of this post? Blaire and I went around singing it to who we thought were trashy people.

Keep it classy bitches. xoxo.

This is not a love story, This is a story about love

2009-10-14T22:16:00.002-05:00

Summer is probably one of my favorite characters. I love everything about her. I think it's because she reminds me of myself. And I've definetely been right where she is. It reminded me that I wasn't alone in how I thought, and well, that can be a nice feeling. The ending was mind boggling and I love it. So much. I went to see this movie twice and I just can't wait for it to come out on DVD so I can watch it over and over and over.

"Honey, I don't know how to tell you this. But...there's a Japanese family in our bathroom."

Color my life with the chaos of trouble

Let this be our little secret

2009-10-11T23:45:00.006-05:00

--passion pit ^ (Little Secret) great song.

(gotten a haircut since. much much better.)

If you think too much about anything eventually everything becomes meaningless.

I don't remember where this came from. Maybe a movie, or perhaps a book. I could have heard it in passing. A dream? It could even be possible this thought just stumbled upon me on it's own. Regardless, it's going to be paired along with my few other favorite quotes.

I know this feeling because it wasn't too long ago that I decided I hated the world. I got to thinking how maybe I should pay attention in school and do my homework and oh I don't know, care? But I don't. Because, it's not who I am (WOAH step back: I care about friends and family and readers :) etc. I'm talking about school) I feel that "I have bigger fish to fry" and trust me when I tell you I'm not trying to be a mysterious intellectual being. Because I know where I stand even if I do sway every now and then.

So I thought and I thought and I thought and thought some more about how pathetic I am and after a while I was like, "what are you doing? Stop. Shut up, you sound like an annoying whiny teenager." who knows maybe it's cause I am? Point is. I hate being a Debbie Downer and while I still (oh god this is starting to sound like my last post) have a lot to learn, I'm contempt here for now although I could always use a trip to NY.

(My precious cousin, Celina. She already has a deep found love for BlackBerry/iPhone/(to-be-texting-queen!)/Hipster Glasses/Clothes)

and I know I'm still to young and such but I just wanted to get this all out.

And, I'm happy and if anything I want everyone to know that as far as I know, we aren't here for any reason, us humans. So get up and do what you want to do.

For me? That's clothes. And I don't care if that sounds materialistic I'm never more happy than when I'm surrounded by clothes. I could spend a day trying on different outfits and dressing people and spend HOURS in a store. As long as I'm surrounded by clothes, I feel an infinite happiness. Weird? I don't care.

Also, just a quick thank you to all you readers :) honestly your comments make my day. If you guys have any suggestions on a topic you'd like to write about or something you'd like for me to review. I'll gladly do so. Questions/whatever I'll take :) christian1727@live.com email me or leave a comment.

Lots of love,

'The adorable funny kid with braces' Christian Castillo

Just sayin'

2009-10-01T20:35:00.005-05:00

Lately I've been examining my closet and debating if my obsession with clothes has gotten out of hand. I have my days where I feel, it is necessary to do ANYTHING just to get my hands on this or that. Why? I don't know. I recently got a haircut and the girl cutting my hair was just as obsessed with clothes. Together we came to the decision and excuse that, there aren't enough people in the world that care...so, we must take on their load -- because then who? Funny. And now that I am starting to apply to colleges and such. I get into that panic mode. You know that, oh-shit-wtf-am-I-supposed-to-do-maybe-I-should-do-something-reliable-like-a-psychologist-or-something-of-the-sort-?-!-mode. I long so much to get into the fashion industry. I'm sure I don't know but I do have an understanding that the fashion world presented isn't the same as living in it. Because not everything is glossy. The tall awkward model put together walking down the runway is really all kinds of a mess behind where ever she just walked out from. This too me is exciting. I love when things are crazy and nothing is going right and you want to break down and give up and cry and scream and hate the world. That stress of go, go, go. We need you here and rush over there. I live for that.

We'll buy a lot of clothes when we don't really need 'em
Things we buy to cover up what's inside
[All Falls Down: Kanye West]

Inspired by Krystal Simpson's (What Is Reality Anyway?) words, "...it's all a big costume--maybe that's why I choose to wear so many different ones, because none of them are really ever going to be "me," are they? " In dressing myself this is how I think. It's like, I look at my closet and think, Hmm...soo who do I want to be today? And when styling other people I think the same. Who do you want to be and what detail will make the outfit more 'them' and not awkward. Because let's face it, when you let your clothes wear you - in the sense of, that may be an incredible piece you're wearing but if you don't believe in it well, you're gonna look like shit. You don't instantly turn into a God when you slip into Marc Jacobs and just because you carry Chanel's oh so popular criss-crossed C's you aren't all of a sudden a classic moment frozen in time and just because you're wearing a pair of Prada heels doesn't make you a whimsical fairy either. As long as you're not comfortable the label isn't going to make you and I'm aware this is debatable to an extent because yeah, if you're carrying around an LV bag people will stare. I guess my point is if you're letting your clothes wear you then who are you? There are those people with signature looks and then there are people like me that don't really have a 'personal style' per say because I just love to play around.

I'm not sure if I made much sense but I sure hope I did. I'll probably change my mind sometime soon. I tend to do that a lot. P.S. any recommendations for cameras? I don't nothing to fancy, I just really wanna do outfits posts so I'd like a somewhat nice camera. If you have an old one you'd want to sell/know of. Tell me! :) Awesome. Thanks.

ASH FOX/Tit Tees

2009-09-24T20:54:00.005-05:00

A world made up of skin tight clothes, glitter, and rock 'n' roll is what comes to my mind of Ash Fox's line formally known as 'Tit Tees'. For this 2009 fall she's ditched the name and has replaced it with her own, 'ASH FOX'. She explains having a line called 'Tit Tees' as a woman felt empowering and it represented just that: girl power and body confidence. In a sense it also created boundaries. Which is why she decided to change the name because she'd like the brand to encompass other types of clothing in the near future. What made her want to start making her own shirts? She says, "The idea to make shirts came from me seeing a lot of plain boring, pregnant looking tops in stores. I wanted to make something tight and flashy inspired by my favorite decades of rock." Which she totally did. For example my favorite piece by her: the Tit Tees DreamCatcher Dress (featured in picture) or her Tit Tees Roxy tee - a tee with studded sleeves. All which are handmade by her in NYC. She loves jewel tones, prints (check out her 'Feline Tee'), textures, and embellishments all of which there are traces of in her clothing. Her label can be found in New Jersey at 'The Closet' in Englewood, 'Smart Alex' in Middletown, and 'Threads' in Cluster. With new locations to be in New York, Pennsylvania, and Connecticut. But for those of you that don't live near by you can always visit her online shop, www.tittees.etsy.com where she provides free domestic shipping and often does custom orders. Also be sure to check out her blog at www.tittees.blogspot.com here you can watch an amazing promo video for the former Tit Tees as well as keep yourself updated on what's going on - a new promo video is in the works. Basically, if you've been looking for a cross between heavy metal and disco look no further because Ash Fox has got just the stuff for you.

A quick Burst of Outrage !

2009-09-22T19:31:00.003-05:00

HELLOMOTHERFUCKINGWORLD.

(BTWZ in this post it'll look like I forgot where the space bar is and I for some reason will feel the need to add a 'z' to pretty much everything. Sorry for looking like a douche in advance.)

I know I say this often but, I don't know where to start. My life has been insane wrapped in a blanket of calm. I mean this in a totes amazing sort of way.

Adventure1:

Dramadramadrama. Crazy bitches. Picture this; Stranded in some town in Illinois by the name of Wheeling. No money. Still hungover. Walking around in shorts recently bought at a Saks&Fifth outlet for 20$ (original price? 98$bukerooz), Andy Warhol esque glasses, an amazing graphic tee from UO, and a large bag from NIKE which contained clothes for at least a week. This was not a run away. At least not from home rather to home. Crazy how everything can change in a single moment. So I run away from this kid's house I'm staying at. That's one party I'll never forget and that isn't exactly good. I find myself in some persons lawn crying. They were so nice to me. Helped me talk to my parents figured out how I could get money. A money gram. and tadabadabimbadaboom I'm all back to normal. Father sent me $120 and I quickly headed to o'hare and from there took a bus back to Madison. But what seems totally peaceful turned into muchmuch more. First I'd like to say how I wish I would have asked for those people's address or phone numbers because they helped me so much. Second I'd like to thank the taxi driver that lowered the fare for me and told me stories of Poland and his beautiful daughter. And third I'd like to take a moment to laugh at all the ignorant children of the world. Because the kids insulting me trulytruly were.

How did it all start?

A good friend and I had a fight. Our fight did not end but neither did we ask anyone to join. I was accussed of doing something I did not. Yet all these little rich kids in their perfect suburbian fake lives seem to want to keep pointing their prissy little fingers at me. OH HELL NO. Little did they know hell was about to break lose. Because the loving Christian they thought they knew? Was about to turn into a complete angry hungry monster waiting to eat them alive. To rip out their hearts and pour our their deepest secrets only to make them swallow them whole once more Sorry that was so graphic, they just made me very angry.

Texts were sent, and so were messages, and shit talking was done through facebook.

I MEAN REALLY?!

It appears that they seemed to be under the impression that because I was Mexican it automatically meant:

OH HAIII, YOU MUST BE ILLEGAL AND SHIT RIGHT?!

GETTHEFUCKOUTOFMYLIFE, ASSHOLE.

because NEWSFLASHERZZZ TO Y'ALL

I'M OH YOU KNOW, LEGAL.

but uh...thanks?

anywho besides that I was also clled: Spick, Aneroxic (wtf @ this bahahaha. I was like umm thanks but just because when I stand next to you, I look it...it doesn't mean I am. You're just fat KTHANKZ.) oh and my favorite: Fag, Queer, Queen, Faggot, Gay, and so on.

This just all made me laugh. They thought words were going to hurt me? Not coming from them. I had friends backing me up oh and they in particular the girl saying all this made a lot of 'spicks' and 'fags' angry. Oh god I could go on and ONNNNNN about this stupid fight. But I'll stop. I hope I amused in some way. Because it was truly HIL-FUCKING-LARIOUS.

I'll stop typing like a shithead now.

ANYWAYS. Next post will be much much happier.

It'll be about a concert I recently attended: Matt & Kim, omfg. If you get a chance to see them live. DO IT. INFREAKINGCREDIBLE. Best show I've been to since Lollapalooza and Lollapalooza is a given so it totally doesn't count. LOVEDIT. Can't wait for next time I see them!

2009-09-22T08:58:00.001-05:00

Internet shod be back in about 4 hours!!! Can't wait to post / read all your blogs. Expect comments :)

2009-09-20T18:30:00.001-05:00

Internet will be back up tomorrow or Tuesday :) depending on how fast they can put it up !!! Miss you kiddiessss xx

2009-09-14T21:04:00.001-05:00

Internet this coming week I believe. I miss reading all your great blogs as well as posting. I have so many crazy adventures to tell you all about. XX

2009-09-12T12:48:00.001-05:00

I currently have no internet, sorry for not responding to comments / updating !!! Will have it back soon !

Tattoo?

2009-08-31T23:19:00.003-05:00

"...At least I knew who I was this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since..."

"Just as I was reaching a point in my life where I was beginning to feel part of something, I've become restless for a new me."

I ~~like~~ love these quotes. I want to get them in tattoo form. On my rib cage but I hear it hurts a lot or on my back by my shoulder blade. Hmmm?

edit: it wouldn't be that big haha and it was just a random idea I all of a sudden came up with. I was like hmmm if I were to get a tattoo I would get...
Highly doubt I would though. I don't like anything too much to have it permanent.

Bec Wonders Jacket

2009-08-28T10:45:00.004-05:00

Finally got to doing the Bec Wonders shoot. I'm really happy with the out come of these pictures. A good friend's, Hannah, dad took these while we were doing her senior pictures. They were taken with a film camera. Hopefully there will be more to come! The shoot was done at a park named 'Hoyt', I've attended lots of parties there! I don't believe that person up there is really me, ha! The jacket is great. Check her out and support this talented girl.

I'm going to Minnesota today to go shopping so I'm pretty stoked for that. There is this jacket from H&M that I feel I need in order to keep breathing.

School starts in only a few days eek! I'm excited actually. Senior year! I'm ready to get this done with and move on with life.

I thought I knew who I was this morning but...

2009-08-22T03:25:00.007-05:00

I know I promised you guys adventures but meh. I don't feel like it, just yet...

I meant to fall asleep hours ago because I thought I was tired and I am. But not the tired the makes you sleep in fact quite the opposite. I'm just tired of, I don't know, this and that. The past week has just been too calm for my liking. There has been no sense of insanity. It's like everything is aligning and I hate it. I'd rather push things aside and throw something there and not care over here. Is that bad? I've stayed up roaming people's Facebook profiles and listening to Lykke Li. I guess I don't know what I want. Well no I do. I meant I guess I am not sure of why I feel like shit. I'm happy, right? I've had an amazing summer. Senior year is coming. I think I have an idea for my future. Sure I fucked a lot of people over for my selfish ways. I've broken walls just build them back up. It's how I work I suppose. Must keep busy busy busy. You know what though? I've been wondering....

Have I lost myself or have I found myself?

Because not too long ago. I cared, I promise I did. I cared about the children in Africa and I might have even believed in love for a second. I might have forgotten the past. I started putting people ahead of me. I let go without fear of getting hurt. I was this nice person. I didn't care but in the good way. I didn't care what people said and such. Not that I do again necessarily. But I do care more to an extent I suppose. Yet I guess looking back I feel I've murdered this Christian. Or maybe he ran away. I'm not sure where he is. And I'm not sure if that's good or bad either...

The new me is different. Selfish and ready to get ahead with life. Friends here and there. I'm now a person that says, "Fuck love" over and over. Even though I haven't really been hurt by such a feeling. In fact it was pleasent. Still I always knew in the end I'd run away from it. Its in my veins to do so. If I could apologize and 100% mean it, I would. I'm not sure though. I guess I'm not like the rest. Don't take that cocky. I mean, I cry and I talk about it and then I move on. I do. I've had to so many times before. I think such actions hurt those loved ones around me. There is usually a month or two a year where I sort of dissapear. Not physically but mentally. I wake up and I follow routine. I don't really pay attention to anything. I smile when I'm supposed too and I lie and I laugh and I cry and I hug and I say something interesting on cue. But it isn't really me.

And that's sort of my downfall. I can jump right into your head, shit, I can fucking have a dance party in your mind. No, I don't know what you're thinking -- I don't read minds. But I know. Even when I pretend to not. I don't have to turn to know you are crying. I laugh when I know you're sad. I know how you feel even if you think I don't. I have this way of getting everyone's point of view. Which is partially why I can never stay mad. Because I see the situation as each individual does. Even if I claim to put myself ahead; always. I think that's why I do it. If I don't force myself too, I'll end up digging myself a grave.

Shocking! I have actually have feelings! Materialism and alcohol isn't all I know. There are brief seconds that I let my walls crumble and not just that --but I peak out from my bubble and just fall. Eyes closed. And I start to think oh my God people fall in love and unicorns exist and everyone can be happy and we can achieve world peace. This moment of course only lasts a few seconds because then I open my eyes and I realize I am falling and I latch on fast as I can. I get up and I begin to build.

Maybe I just no longer feel secure and I'm starting to lose my mother fucking mind!

....but to be honest....I don't think that is always a bad thing...

To Do: Get camera, get sketchbook. I think this will result in further happiness.

To sum this all up: color my life with the choas of trouble

The Boy with the Arab Strap -- Belle & Sebestian

xxChristian Castillo
I'll tell you my crazy adventure later ;) because it's one of the best...at least what I remember, ha!

Get Prepared....

2009-08-18T10:04:00.003-05:00

(Bec Wonders Jacket. Temporary pic until I get better quality ones, within in the next few days.)

Wait until you read my next adventure.
;)

xx

LOLLAPALOOZA '09

2009-08-11T12:58:00.006-05:00

Been there, done that, messed around. I'm having fun don't put me down. I'll never let you sweep me off my feet.

Bulletproof by La Roux

My current can't stop listening to song.

Oh yeah! Let's talk about Lollapalooza....

I hadn't planned on going. Then my friend David told me he was going with his friend Libby (an adorable ginger) I got the ticket, literally the day before. I went on Sunday. Although I would have loved to have gone Saturday because the Yeah Yeah Yeahs were playing as well as Lykke Li. I wouldn't trade Sunday for anything. It was one of the best days of my life, seriously. The car ride there felt super short. Maybe it was because we were just so excited. It felt like we were driving for five minutes and all of a sudden, there we were. In Illinois. Another hour or two to get to the city. Knowing me of course we had party it up a little before. We had a big bottle of UV Blue. We poured all we could into a metal water bottle which held a lot. The rest? We finished it up in a car party. Just passed it around. No chaser, no nothing. Well -- we chased it with ritz crackers for a bit. I had jeans on and I couldn't handle the heat. So we did a completel outfit change for me. My friend David had some extra clothes. We snuck in sucessfully with the alcohol. It's been two days since and I still have yet to recover fully.

Who we saw: Vampire Weekend, Boyz Noize, MSTRKRFT

:Vampire Weekend
Was an amazing way to start. We sang along and got warmed up. I loved them live. After they were done we went to get some food quick before partying away.

Vampire Weekend lead & Libby

Here comes the party....
BOYZ NOISE & MSTRKRFT: fucking amazing.

We pushed our way to the front. Making friends along the way. High fiving, hugging. Essentially loving life. Then we were just right there. We danced and danced and danced. Without exaggerating -- we litterally danced 4 hours non stop. FOUR. HOURS. NONSTOP. I almost died. Libby almost died. David almost died. We could have all just been done right then and there with our life and been totally happy. The crowd was something else. You felt as if you were part of something, some movement, just anything. You didn't know these people yet the music made everyone feel in synch with everyone. You just looked over and caught someone's eye and smiled because you both knew this feeling was much larger than anything you've ever felt. And even though you felt you were about to pass out and just collaspe you couldn't stop dancing. It was too fucking great. You wanted to keep going and going. It was finally when we litterally couldn't stand up that we decided it was time to go.

We each bought two water bottles which we downed within in ten minutes. Then we sat by this huge blowing hard candy sculpture. Where we met a girl...who wore a wig made of yarn because she loved it. It was weird but it's all good. We were pretty tired out and just rested. We were all drenched in not only our sweat but other peoples. My shirt felt like I had just sunk it into water. It was disgusting. But all worth it. So very much. I seriously think if you can go next year -- do it. Don't think twice about it. You'll never expierence anything as great as Lollapalooza.

Me, David, Libby

We walked around the city for an hour trying to find food. Stopped at a 7-eleven and McDonald's. Ate lots of food. Drove back at 1:30 am. Flash flood and thunderstorm warnings. Got home at 3:30 am. Proceeded to eat more. Crashed. I woke up and in imense pain yet I didn't care because Sunday had been perfect in the sense of total choas. I couldn't stop eating though my body needed as much energy as possible. It was insane.

Any of you go to Lollapalooza?

Questionnaire!

2009-08-07T12:32:00.004-05:00

Album cover for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs new album, It's Blitz!

What is your current obsession:

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs I am in love with them their new album It's Blitz! its the soundtrack to my summer. I am desperetaly trying to convince my dad to get me tickets to go to lollapalooza to see them + Lykke Li. I have also have just become obsessed with shorts -- of course right when summer is ending. And leather jackets. Give me, give me!

What is your horoscope and do you relate to it:

I am a Gemini. I actually do sometimes believe in horoscopes. My mom just always read them so it isn't very weird for me. I don't think they are for everyone. I don't know how to explain it, either you're born as your sign or you aren't is the best way I can put it. I've also read books about my sign that explain everything in much better detail. It fascinates me. I think I match the sign of 'Gemini' perfect -- scary perfect. When I read those books I forget they aren't just talking about me, Christian as an individual but "everyone" who has this sign. I will share two quotes from a book I just read on Gemini that matched me so well here they are -- "In spite of all the people around him, he shares his deepest emotions only with his one constant companion--his other twin self. The air is his element and his real home. He's a stranger to earth." and then, "He's gregarious, and he hates--even fears--being alone for extended periods. If you can hit him with the message that you'll be a partner who will always be around, but who won't lean on him nor expect him to lean on you, he'll probably consider signing a long term contract.

What are you wearing today:

I'm wearing a black shirt that says LONDON across and in the letters are pictures of London. It's sweet, my friend Praveena, got it for me when she was there. Then I have my favorite belt -- a chocolate brown with the penguin logo. And some striped blue shorts from American Apparel which are 'short' but not really. I like it.

What is the last thing you bought:

Alcohol. But besides that I think it was a semi light pink shirt from American Apparel that has a huge pocket on it. I love it.

What do you think about the person who tagged you:

I love Katie D. although I guess I don't fully know her so that may sound a bit creepy. Her blog makes me happy. I love her obsession with shoes. But much better yet her obsession with hipsters -- I've never met anyone that shares such a feeling with me. We admire them. As well as vampires. I think she would be amazing to party with and I'm still waiting to fly out to San Fran. with her and meet some real cool hipsters and just chill with them -- maybe even lucky enough to be in a picture with them? Them and they're fun trendy little cameras. Check out her blog! Faux as F*ck !

That question about a fully furnished, paid for, that everyone answers with 'Paris' or 'New York':

I would also be quick to say 'Paris' or 'New York' however I wouldn't like make the decision. Because I don't want to be grounded to one place. And I wouldn't mind a cool fully furnished pad in my town of Madison. As long as it's modern (but still fun not like untouchable) I'm gonna love it.

What's for dinner:

Not sure. I think some friends and I are heading downtown later so probably Noodles & Company?

What's your favorite decade, fashion wise:

Oh jeez. I can't answer this question without feeling stupid. I just recently got into fashion - I've always liked it. But it is only now when I'm beginning to discover all these possibilites. So I'm not sure what exactly was when. I guess I'd like to say I love all decades the hippie era was fun. I also love the 70's a lot. But something inside me also longs to live in the perfect neighberhood in the 50's with their perfect hair and clothes and perfect cookie cutter everything. I also love the grunge and grossness that was the 80's and 90's. Fashion is just something that keeps getting reinvented though. So we keep seeing inspiration from all these decade in these 'new' fashions is what I think. Did that make sense?

What are your must have for the summer:

Shorts, I like them a little short. I hate those that go past the knee, blah. Nasty. Also really light hoodies/cardigans for night, I get cold easily haha. Parties, those are a must have. Shoes that are comfortable without socks.

What would you love to be able to afford:

Marc Jacobs everything. I would also love to get this faux leather jacket from Urban Outfitters, opinions? I love it in brown. It's so casual yet dressy. Not too dark like black (which I love) although I also like the grey. I'm a sucker for brown though.

What is your favorite piece of clothing from your own wardrobe:

I would have to say -- wow not sure. Well there is this amazing cardigan I found at express once. It's wooly and black and has pockets. But the best part is this amazing little logo it has on the side. It's like a patch and it's very Harry Potter looking but everyone always compliments it and so many people think it's some expensive vintage designer piece -- so hey! I love that. And then there is this plaid vintage shirt one of my friend's dad gave me from like the 70's. Then there is my Bec Wonder's unisex jacket. Which I love wearing on windy days! I believe that is all.

What is your dream job:

As I always blog about, something with magazines. I would love to write articles for NYLON or Interview I love those two magazines. They make me happy so fun and innovative. I would love to interview Lindsay Lohan. Or write up reviews for fashion week. Something along those lines. As long as it has writing. I'm starting to get into photography but I think it's just one of those, 'oh that's cool' things. Who knows.

What do you consider a fashion faux pas:

Totally going to agree with Katie, Ed Hardy tees/anything. They really aren't cute. Sorry to offend anyone out there that might own it. I just I don't see...what people see in it I guess? I also usually tend to hate when people wear longer dresses with jeans especially when the jeans are flared! Agh. I hate when people wear shirts that are too tight + pants that are too tight and then they get that hideous muffin top. I also hate when people try to follow trends -- I get it you want to be 'in' -- when it doesn't fit them at all. For example short people and long long dresses. There is more but I can't think of any at the moment. TACKINESS.

Describe your personal style:

Oh wow hard question. It's sort of care free but with thought put into it. I wish I lived in a city where it wouldn't be weird to dress up because I love looking nice. I also just love crazy outrageous pieces. I love jeans yet I only have like two pairs I like, ha. I love hoodies and cardigans. I just like plain and simple. I also love my hipster outfits and things that could go for both sexes.

Which Beatle is your favorite:

Honestly...don't kill me. I think they have amazing lyrics but I'd much rather listen to the cast from Across the Universe sing their songs. I like the one that was least liked. I guess. I watched 500 Days of Summer, and that's the one Summer likes. I love her theory behind it. So yeah. Who was that? Ringo? I don't know.

What are you proud of:

That I'm finally coming to terms with who I am. I'm becoming less afraid. I'm proud of all the pople I've met who are amazing and fun. I'd like to say, I'm proud of this blog. And that I actually have some sort of idea as to where I'm heading in life. I'm happy with who I am and I think I'm also proud of knowing life is going to suck and lots of shit you don't like is going to happen but if you don't think about it too much life is actually pretty fucking amazing.

I'm not sure who to tag yet, I'll get back to y'all!

A bad explanation to a fun night.

2009-08-05T12:12:00.002-05:00

I've been called an alcoholic more times than I can count this week and I don't think I really care. An old friend sent me three long text messages explaining what an 'asshole' I was. In all honesty it didn't even hurt one bit, actually I laughed. It cheered me up. She said, 'nice knowing ya, hope you live a lonely shitty life. Just you and your drugs!' what a horrible thought. I have plenty of great friends. I'm not giving up where I am right now. I am completely happy -- well not entirely. I guess some days it does feel like something is missing. And don't you dare even tell me it's love. It's not something I believe in. But let us move on. Three amazing parties to blog about. Here is #1. How I desperately want to time travel back to this one.

Party number 1:

The Boring explanation: My friend Ladan was supposed to have a party at her boyfriend's house and it was going to be hat themed. Just picture a lot of drunk people with sombreros, spinner hats, viking hats, etc., etc., etc., and I think you'll see why this seemed appropriate. But life happened and such and that got canceled. Which sucked cause now the friend that I was going with, David, and I had to find a new party. We were pretty bummed. Went downtown, ate some noodles, did some shopping. We went to a gas station where Ladan told us they don't card. After a long journey and getting semi lost we got there only to realize we were to scared to try. Called up Ladan picked her up and she got it for us. DragonBerry. It tasted amazing. We headed back to my house drank in my room. And just said, fuck it. Let's do downtown and see what's up. When we got there it all just came to us! His friend Kajsa texted and said, 'shit we just left, want us to pick you up?' YES. YES. I would love that. Let's fucking partypartyparty.

Getting to the Party: They picked us up. We got in the car. Did some shots. Sang some music. And looked for the house. David and I were a little skeptical about it at first because we thought it was going to be some stupid frat boy party with like 4 dudes drinking beer. Little did we know it was going to amazing.

The Party: Once we got there, I was fairly drunk. And of course I had to buy more! I don't think I've ever been more drunk. I was all over the place talking to people here and there. Hugging them and telling them how beautiful they were. I made friends with some crazy girl that came up to me and was like 'JONAS BROTHER!' I was like 'WHOOO JONAS BROTHER NUMBER 4 MOTHER FUCKER!' We hugged and discussed and drank some more.

The incredible sucky incident: My friends lost $100 of mine, basically. David and Kajsa left to go buy cloves. I payed for them but they don't know where my money went. I'm mad but I've just summed it up to whatever and just try not to think about it. Because I really don't enjoy drama -- well I do but not with my friends. They left. I wanted to go very badly but they wouldn't let me. Why? I could not be in public because I was very gone. I did what I thought to be summer saults which is just sort of. A spin on the ground. I wanted to hug everyone and love the world.

The Party: But nonethless I was not able to go and the other friend who was with me, Elaine. Baby sat me. But I somehow ended up running away from her. She gave me water to sober up but my friend that called JoBro4 gave me her beer. I pretended to be sober to my friends even though I wasn't at all. The party was some college party with a glow in the dark attic and live music playing. I danced. I sang. What didn't I do? I kissed a stranger and that was completely out of the blue.

The After Math: Too drunk to go home. We decided to go to Perkin's. I didn't eat. I actually hardly remember this but my friends told me all about it. I got there and saw my friend Ladan. What do I do? "LADAN! OHMYGOD LADAN! LADAN! I LOVE YOU!" running up to their booth. Where I called her cute friend, Becky -- Asian Bitch. And told her friend Amy that she was so skinny and beautiful and to not eat. We got seated in the booth next to theirs. I kept climbing over them because Ladan wanted me to tell her gossip so I did. I proceeded to call everyone that wasn't, me, Elaine, David, Ladan, Amy, Becky, and Kajsa a nasty whore that should just die. I asked Ladan if she was getting a salad because she thought she was fat.

Paris Hilton: YES! I thought I met Paris Hilton. A drunk maybe early 30s late 20s Paris Hilton look a like stumbled in about ready to throw up. What does Christian do? He yells, PARIS HILTON HOLY SHIT. What else? Well I go outside for some reason I think it was to try to find my money? Anyways, Paris Hilton was out there. So of course, I HAD to talk to her. She didn't like that much. I told her she looked like a cross breed between Lady Gaga and Paris Hilton. She told me to get away from her, that I was very nice but she did not feel good. So I was like, wow she's a bitch. Which wasn't nice. I know.

Erhm?: I was just way too drunk to go home so I was like ahh someone let me stay over and David did.

INTERRUPTION: I just pressed back on my browser and cried for about 5 minutes because I was like NOOOO I HAVE TO WRITE IT ALL OVER AGAIN. But I pressed forward and there it was! All still there! Thank god.

Erhm?: So we drove to his house about 30 minutes away. His room was freezing. I was dieing. I didn't really get any sleep.

I don't think I made this party sound as exciting as it actually was. The next two parties involve cops oh how fun! Those will sound more exciting written I hope!

Blah sorry I've become such a lazy blogger I really do promise the next party blog will as exciting as it actually was.

Apologies!

2009-08-02T19:07:00.002-05:00

Sorry I haven't blogged for a bit. I promise to make up to you guys! Maybe one later on tonight -- unless I go to a party :) ! I got tagged for one of those fun quizzes by Katie D. (Faux as F*ck) so I'm excited to do that.

Basically this weekend has been on of the craziest. You will be so excited to read about these drunk adventures!

Preview: Nominated as Jonas Brother #4 by two random look a like girls, losing 100$, waking up at 7...not sure of where I was, a really odd kiss, being drenched in beer and Vodka, Paris Hilton & Lady Gaga's baby, cigarettes, and "Oh I heard about you on Friday."

:) <3 I love my life. That is all.

Unisex: the future? Bec Wonders seems to think so...

2009-07-28T13:38:00.006-05:00

I recently had the pleasure of doing an interview with Bec Wonders not only for my blog here but for an online magazine I wrote for by the name of, Encore Status. Hopefully it will soon be up but for now enjoy it here. Hope you guys like it! I'm pretty pleased.

(The picture of taken from her Tumblr; this is a model not Bec. The jacket was made by Bec and is part of her unisex winter collection. I happen to own it in a blue! Thanks so much by the way Bec xx!)

Bec Wonders is not only a sixteen year old designer and writer but also a unique individual. I've been talking to her over Facebook and email for the past week and have been aware of her work for a few months now. But it hasn't been until recently that we've become friends. Sharing our stories and our views on fashion. She's taught me a few things and I can't wait to see her conquer the world -- for lack of better words.

She's Dutch and her eyes are a muted blue almost gray and are often complimented with quirky glasses in various colors. She doesn't really like to wear pants and will gladly chose a short dress over them any day -- however whatever it is she decides to wear: it's almost always waist-cut. Her heels have only gotten higher and higher and so has her vision for her clothes.

Which to Bec are far more than just cloth held together with stitches. To her, it's a way to express your life. What you chose to wear ultimately does say something about you. From how you feel, to what your taste is, perhaps where you've been, or how you go on about life: calm, up tight, or some sort of happy medium. Clothes can be powerful enough to influence how you feel which is why Bec Wonders works so hard. Because she understands all this as she goes on to say, "For me fashion is one of the most important things there is, since it can change a person so significantly."

This is why she does not limit to who her clothes are made for, she'd like to think fashion is for everyone. Exactly the reason for why her upcoming winter line will be all unisex and all one size fits all so you can wear it no matter what size or sex you are. It won't be that simple because the pieces won't just be baggy sweatshirts and such, no. She wants to challenge both sexes, create something new and innovative. This is how she plans on impacting the fashion world, by opening and broadening the minds of many with her uni-typical clothing.

And where does one find Bec Wonders clothing? Well you could contact her but at the moment she's working with a store by the name of, Weekday a Swedish company that was bought by H&M not too far back. Weekday, has a constant flow of new young designers coming through trying to make a change and leave their mark on the fashion scene.

She's put a lot of effort into getting to where she is today and has learned that fashion is not just about runways or photo shoots in fact that's only the icing on the cake, one could say. Behind the scenes it's much more hectic. She's had to keep herself grounded and will not give up her vision for her clothes regardless of where it is she'll be featured. The fall down to all of this? Some have told her she comes off as stuck up and show off. That she's got her head far too deep into the business. To defend her, she's a very sweet girl. Very open and has no problem telling you a life story or two. The other amazing thing about her is of course the fact that she is sixteen! When most are getting their driver's license or studying for the ACT, Bec is off meeting with agents and drawing up new ideas to make her statement a reality.

She's lived in Sweden and a lot of her life has also been spent in Germany. This interview was actually done the night before she left Germany for Canada which is where her parents reside. She's smart and I fully support her. One of my favorite answers she gave me was to a very typical question, where does your inspiration come from. Most would name bands, songs, artists, other designers, past memories and so forth but Bec surprisingly well...isn't sure where it comes from. She put it this way, "Within. Or, I'm not sure. When I make clothes, I'm inspired by the fabrics. I see a certain fabric and know exactly what to make. I'm inspired by nature's colors, and very much by music. But my inspiration is more of a drive, a will, that comes from deep inside. I don't think I really know how to answer this question, I hope I will find out sometime."

How did this all come to be? Although I can't see her as she's somewhere in Germany packing for Canada something tells me she's smiling quietly to herself because it is an often asked question. Bec describes herself as having always wanted to do something creative. Due to her different style she has always been some what of an outsider she tells me. And it was Sweden that first opened her eyes. Many of it's citizens are fashion forward and not afraid of the new. You could say it started with a talent show she participated in. Her talent? She put on her own fashion show. Or it could have been meeting new connections in the industry. Regardless of how it happened I'm glad it did and am hopeful that knowledge of her fashion spreads through out America. Some inspirational words from Bec, "Anyone who has the drive and will can make it, and that's just what I had. Now I'm on my way up, and I'm determined not to stop!"

I'm looking forward to some day attending a Bec Wonders fashion show which she says could possibly be one of the best parts of the industry: picking models, music, choreography, and organizing all of it! When asked what her dream show would look like she said, "My dream runway show would be to music like 'cocorosie-wereworf' or 'slagsmaalkubben-road to destiny'. I want a long intro to get the audience curious. I want the whole room dark and flashing colorful lights to the beat. I want pictures of the models in the background as they walk, and I want powerful and emotional walks, like never seen before." And although that may just be a dream now, who knows. It's never stopped her before -- right?

Check out more Bec wonders at: www.becwonders.com

A Drag King Show + Angry Twittering + a Request !

2009-07-26T10:58:00.006-05:00

So, I lied. I wasn't able to have exciting drunk adventures. Something interesting did however happen. Nothing big just...you know your typical uhm drag king show not queen -- King. Big ole' lesbians (that sounded mean but I meant it nicely. I love lesbians!). To be correct they are a He not a She, in case confusion occurs upon reading this.

So yes. My friend sort of dragged me along I was a little skeptical of going. It turned out to be very fun. In short it was a lot of lesbians dressed as guys and these weren't very uhm 'small' lesbians. Yes, belly shirts were worn eh...that wasn't the best part. They lip synced to various oldies. There was also a raffle taken place. You could win a spanking, a date, panties, a massage. My friend Leah ended up winning the date -- after convincing her to put the raffle ticket in the date box. She won it with Josh who is pretty handsome actually. It was very funny. We were sitting front row and all of a sudden they go, Leah Rose. And we all just turn and laugh. It was beautiful. Then our friend David came pretty late when they made a tribute to Micheal Jackson's, Thriller. And he was semi drunk so he was a bit confused of what was going on. Ha, regardless it was entertaining. Then Leah and David and I walked over to McDonald's and ate some food and waited for a ride. It sucked to go some so early though. We did make new friends though with a bunch of drunk 19-21 year olds. One was Elsie and she was from New York she let me have the last two sips of her wine -- which was excellent. One of her friends was beyond drunk and she kept cheering really loud and going crazy during the show. I. WAS. SO. JEALOUS. OF. HER. If you wanted to know, haha. They seemed like such a fun group. They were straight by the way which is what made it funny that she like kept going crazy over the girls well 'guys'.

Saturday my best friend, Leslie - love that bitch - came home from camp for two days (Friday and Saturday) ! That was fun I missed our random crazy hyped conversations. I helped dress her for a party she went too that I would've gone too but too many people I didn't like were going to be there and I didn't want to deal with that. So we went downtown to go shopping. The theme of the party was 'Red Carpet' which translated to 'look like a rich slut' basically. Leslie is pretty tall and skinny and she's got amazing tanned skin. She ended up getting a high waist pleather skirt from American Apparel that had a slight snake pattern to it. Which she wore with a v-neck tank top from BDG and white gladiator sandals + some cute necklaces and a black cardigan.

After helping dress her Leah and Charlie picked me up and we went to this delicious Chinese restaurant, Imperial Garden. Where the waiter was sort of annoyed with me because I couldn't decide what to get but we left him a nice note at the end as a thanks for being patient along with his tip of course.

The rest of the night got shitty then. Nothing fun and everyone was being assholes. Basically. It sucked so I just sort of went home and twittered my anger away!

Hope you all had a much better weekend!

P.S. I have Seventeen by Ladytron stuck in my head. Argh. They only want you when you're 17, when you're 21 you're no fun.

Quick thought: I've also been listening to this song called, Hollywood's not America by Ferras. And does anyone ever forget that too? That America isn't Hollywood? Cause I sure do.

AND MY REQUEST: So if anyone just feels like getting me the BlackBerry Bold OR the New BlackBerry Cruve (it's beautiful) you can feel free to do so! Ha ;)

--Christian Castillo

I Would Rather be Alone with Aliens & Rainbows

2009-07-21T21:45:00.014-05:00

Dear Blog,
I'm sorry I've neglected you, you've always been there for me. I sincerely apologize! I might give you a make over soon, but I sort of like your clean-airy-feel.
With love in every pixel,

--Christian that kid who likes to tell people he's Jewish for his own amusement oh and because I got tired of people going, 'Christian are you Christian?' It's like, false bitch. I'm Jewish so take that.

(Pictures by: Leah Rose Ershler)

Hello there. How are you? I hope you're doing good, I am. At this very moment I'm not but not because I'm sad it just happens to be that my room is very hot and I'm bored. I've been going and trying to comment everyone back the past two days and checking out all your blogs and Twitter updates and Tumblr updates and YouTube updates. Oh wow, I sound awfully dependent on technology which I partially am (as you all know of my BlackBerry obsession...) so guess who got a ticket? Yes, Christian did. Now the reason was awfully stupid but I learned my lesson. It involved alcohol but no one was hurt actually no one was drunk. The lesson cost me 424$ and in fact it really was 100$ since dad decided to be nice and pay the rest as well as not tell mother and I believe those of you have foregin mothers would agree; they're cute and loveable...that is until anger rises within them. Then they sort of become momters (get it? Ha how cute and clever of me!), hm. I look back and laugh at it. The friend involved in it with me well her mom sort of hates me and my other good friend. That sucks but she wants us over for dinner since she understands we're all really good friends and she wants to discuss it. Kinda scared, kinda excited. I want her to see that I'm really not just some alcohol loving crazy kid. I actually have somewhat of a plan for my life. I actually haven't attended any crazy parties and well this makes me kind of sad so do please invite me?

(look it's me! Those glasses sadly broke.)

In my town of Madison (liberal mayhem) we have what we call Maxwell Street days weekend which is where every store downtown on State St. has crazy sales. They have it every year from July 17th-19th I think. Any who this weekend means Urban Outfitters and American Apparel and not so generic stores are 50% off and more. I got Levi's jeans which were originally somewhere around $60-$70 for 20$, the sale price was $40 but everything was another 50% off. I also got some shirts for $3-$7. I was basically in heaven. Speaking about heaven, I discovered hipster heaven and attractive hipster heaven at that! They were all so beautiful. My friend Leah and I went to a free concert downtown (The pictures above are from it) and we don't know where they were all hiding but all of a sudden we had all these hipsters. I did my best to make my outfit hipster like and I succeeded. Of course there were the, what the fuck hipsters (see picture below) but hey a hipster is a hipster. I think I completely over used the word hipster in this paragraph to the point where an English teacher would cringe, perhaps? But boy oh boy I really need to get hipster glasses asap. As well are more cardigans, thanks.

More stories? No. But this weekend I'm going to try and get you guys some, it's been a while! I'm thinking of posting a short story (which is actually kind of long) in sections on here. I'm sort of proud of it, a piece I keep going back too. It's called, What Jesus Wouldn't Do, I'm thinking of maybe changing the title. It's still a rough edit. I mean it's polished because it was due for a paper but it can always use more. It's a story about a boy and a girl. But don't let your brains wander off just yet. You meet a boy that's raised very very religious and the boy meets a girl who well is as some would say 'wasting her life away' and as others would argue 'living it up' regardless they end up making friends, very good friends, the types you know will only last a day or two. But those days will be great. Because you'll just feel this sense of infinite. The girl has a secret: she's pregnant and she doesn't exactly want it. So yes, it deals with abortion and a more realistic point of view of it then we're fed (in my opinion) through T.V. and news. It's all from the boys point of view and how he sees it through his religious eyes. It doesn't shove Christianity down your throat and I don't try to convert him in the story either or have him necessarily be disloyal to his religion. I just sort of let him know some things have to be done and it's not always so bad and people can get along. I will be posting it in sections. That is if enough of you would like me too!

I think I might also have a blog roll on my page soon. And I will let you know if I'm adding you. I was inspired to do so by Katie D. (faux as f*uck) a tall lean wannabe vamp who's fun and quirky with a dash of style, check her out -- she'll be selling some cute things soon so get your hands on them before someone else does!

I also want to take a quick moment to say how excited I am to recieve my very own Bec Wonders jacket! I will take pictures as soon as I can and when I get it and show off and show off! This talented young girl is sending it to me for free, awfully nice of her. I can see her getting big, successfully not body wise! She's also adorable and always has the most amazing hipster (meant as a compliment Bec!) glasses.

Listening to: Aliens & Rainbows by Ferras.

I love you all and thanks for reading, your comments make my day/night/week!

Here I go again...

2009-07-16T21:33:00.004-05:00

I think I might have figured it out, I think I just need to let it all out.

Be creative. I'm starting to let it all slip.

First thing is first. Get all these interviews I said I was going to get done. With Bec Wonders, Ash Fox, Haluna Zenko -- a bunch of different designers. Then look up upcoming brands/fun stuff (if you know of any do tell, do tell)

MAKE SOMETHING.

I really want to create an awesome room in my basement. So I think I will. I wanna make fun shirts. I kinda wanna learn how to sew. I want to learn how to do this and that. I'm kind of excited.

What's stopping me? Oh well only this $424 ticket...and oh yeah I don't have a job and my parents aren't filthy rich...soooo FML much?

Am I Sick or do I just Love to be?

2009-07-16T00:48:00.004-05:00

And all I want to know is, am I losing again? Because at this point I just don't know anymore. It's almost one in the morning and here I am. Trapped in this box of white searching for something -- anything -- to tell me that it is okay. I just start to think, who am I? That's the big question. Really, I mean, it's the umbrella under which the rest of my problems stand. Who am I and am I hiding. If you wanted me to be honest I am not sure I would be. Not because I chose not too but because I simply couldn't remember. And, if I told you I was on the verge of self destruction, would you believe me? Because I am not so sure I do or would myself. Maybe this is all just a phase but then again that's what we all like to say, "Oh honey, maybe it's just a phase. I'm sure you'll get over it soon." It's like a blanket for chills or like a pill for the pain. Wasn't it me who just said, let the world be corrupt to shit? Did I say it because I believe it or might it have slipped out because I don't think innocence has a place in the world anymore. It's sort of an outcast. Besides I heard a rumor it lives on the moon or amongst the stars. Didn't you hear? The innocence which lives in Disney World is an impostor. I just feel way in over my head and I forgot how to say goodbye and yet I know all to well how to leave. I'm going to explode and to make matters worse, it's getting hard to tell where reality ends and illusion begins it feels as if though they blend then separate. I've never experienced a summer like this and don't get me wrong I love it yet I still feel so lost and empty and here and there and everywhere. Some days...I think there's two of me or maybe even more but I'm not crazy. Don't take it too seriously but sometimes I think my phone can talk and oh the things my phone could tell you, if only it had a twitter of it's own. Am I sick or do I just love to be? There's a note in my phone called, Gossip, and it gets updated regularly. It makes me feel powerful is the conclusion I've come too. Since I was little I've always been fed secrets. Family secrets, gossip, dark secrets, including all those of my own. Precious little joys for me. And now it's become a talent of mine. Now a days I don't even have to love a person to get them to tell me something that's been bothering them. I don't even have to know them. Only maybe just smile and listen. And it all makes me wonder...

To be continued [maybe]...

--Christian Castillo

(hopefully some party/adventure posts soon. To replace these depressing ones.)

A kaleidoscope of Exploding Hearts

2009-07-12T04:02:00.004-05:00

Dear um...,

I'm here and there and I'm everywhere. Which is why I think we ended up the way we did. To be honest I don't know where it went wrong. But can anyone ever pin point that exact moment? Was it a curse, did the shiny rings mean too much? Did we hold on too tight, did we tangle up. I can only say sorry and what good does that do. I can easily say it was you just as you can so easily say it was me. I can also blame myself over and over just as much as you can blame yourself. So who's fault is it? Mutual. Is that possible? My fault, your fault, our fault. After all we shared everything.

All I know is that somewhere we got lost, somewhere we fell apart, somewhere along all those lines and all those fights we broke down. I looked at you and you looked at me but the people we saw weren't us -- weren't them -- to be exact. I became the life of the party, I became this person full of complex secrets -- ones only I would let myself understand and maybe that's what I'm sorry for. I once read an astrology book on my sign of Gemini stating, "...the air is his element and his real home. He's a stranger to earth." and I highly agree. I don't think I meant to stay in one place. Just as I start reaching a point in my life where I begin to feel part of something I become restless for a new me. I reinvent myself over and over because I get bored easily. Once upon a time I told you my dreams and you said they weren't real just like everyone else. I always got, "You could do so much better." and I got so sick of it. I can write and I'm much more creative than I ever let you see. If you could only look inside my mind. You'd find a treasure chest of ideas, a kaleidoscope of exploding hearts. I know I can get somewhere and the thing is -- I won't let anyone hold me back not even you. I learned from my mom and she's taught me ever since, never love anyone more than yourself. I've seen her die from how hard she works. Way back during the horrible divorce I experienced her starve herself just too feed us. She always put herself last and she became a mess. I couldn't bare to see it. My beautiful mom all of a sudden this blob of nothing. Dead. So as things got better she started putting herself ahead and now she's back to that happy/stylish mommy I've always loved. Don't ever tell me I can't do anything. It doesn't give me inspiration to prove you anything. It gives me inspiration to prove it to myself.

Remember the night we cried and fought and cried and I said, New York is where I belong and so what if maybe I've never been there and I even could end up hating it but I can't stand being here anymore. You know what you said? You said, "There is no where for you to go in New York - you aren't smart enough - and besides like really what are you gonna do?" I'll tell you what. I'm going to start my life. I am going to meet and socialize and make it in. I've never had a problem making friends and some days I felt you were just a bit too jealous of me for that. You know what's funny babe, you always did become best friends with the bitchiest of girls and if you don't believe me -- I'll be happy to give you examples.

I'm tired of everyone thinking my dreams are untouchable/unreachable it's like, fuck I'm not asking to touch Jesus. I got so tired of looking at all these fancy schools I know I couldn't get into. I'm sick of being told what good money doctors make oh and lawyers oh and dentists oh and ____. I DON'T WANT TO LIVE A COOKIE CUTTER LIFE IN THE SUBURBS! Don't you get it? You want kids. I don't know if I do. You want a marriage. And me? I believe a marriage is a curse to a divorce. You want suburbia (as much as you deny it). I want the city. You rather spend nights at home. I rather party and get drunk. You like to have a few select friends. I want everyone to be my best friend. You like safety and I say bring on the danger. Not that we can't make it through these things its that. I'm not taking away your dream. If I cared about you. If I ever loved you. I wouldn't and couldn't do that to you. I can't take away kids from you -- it's everything you've wanted. I can't take suburbia away. I can't take the whole white picket fence dream and burn it in your face. We can be best friends like always.

I know I'm fucked up and I kind of sort of almost love it. The world is already corrupt isn't it? I mean aren't we all fucked and destined to hell. Living in this world of crazy celebrity obsessions. Where weight decides your status on the social ladder. Where it's almost okay to creep all over a person's life. This world of knowledge but knowledge of what? I'm not trying to hate on it. I'm just telling you how it is. I actually kind of like it. I think it's extremely horrible and I'm okay with that. Because well what's the fun in not having problems? What do you do? Because to me it just sounds boring. Pop the champagne and let's make a toast to corruption. I want everyone to be corrupt to shit. (Sorry for the language in this paragraph).

I'm sorry. I loved you. I don't know if I still do. I love everyone in my own way -- too bad you took that wrong. Seriously though, you need to calm down. Life isn't always a party -- I know because you always tell me but life isn't always so bad either and that's what you need to learn. Sure you may have been hurt but hasn't everyone.

Sincerely,
Christian Castillo

P.S. Idon'tevenknowanymore. I love my life and I'm sorry it hurts every time I say that. You could love yours too -- just stop with all the dramatic bullshit.

Bubbles, Fireworks, and Awkward Groups

2009-07-05T17:37:00.006-05:00

I like it this way. Lazy afternoons smoking and blowing bubbles. Watching true blood only to discover it is one of the most fucked up entirely genius show I've ever laid on my eyes on. It's actually on so much crack (and remember that shit's whack y'all!) that I will happily sit in front of that screen for hours as it turns my brain to porridge...hm but then again that isn't the only thing making my brain go squish. Oh how sketchy my life has become, but I think that's okay. Everyone can benefit from some corruption here and there.

It feels like it's been a while since I posted but it hasn't really, at all. What stories do I have to share this time around? I think we can start with the Third of July. The day before America's great old independence. Actually I'm gonna save my Fourth of July story for well another post. It's so good it needs a post entirely to itself (XX aren't you excited ;) ) and I also need the pictures which my friend hasn't put up yet. And so anywho, story time children!

July 3rd, was...: spent partying it up in my room with some cute friends then off to watch fireworks!

The one with the bangs is Jordyn and the other is one is Abby. This is how it went down, we smoked and finished an entire large pizza only to discover that my mom came home early from work. Panicked. Sprayed everything with Hollister Cologne (Jake). Ate more. Relieved because mom didn't notice she left to a friends shortly after. My little brother has this huge thing of tattoos so we acted like five year olds and oohed and ahhed all over them and proceeded to put them everywhere on our bodies. We're cool kids.

After we were badazz and tatted up (You know how the big playas do) my friend Leah and I went to go see fireworks.

Hmm...but the group we ended up going with (not to sound shallow...but I will sound shallow so I'm sorry in advance...) was UGLY. AND. ANNOYING. Except for two cute people. Whatevz. We went to go see fireworks at a park by the name of Elver, went to the forest found this perfect secluded litle fort of happiness and smoked. Watched the fireworks!

It was an awkward night though. As we barley knew these kids. Yet they gave us a ride home. The girl was cute thoough and her dad was funny.

Sorry this post was so boring xx. I am VERY tired. I will also try to think of new posts to do so that my blog doesn't become one generic thing. !! Suggestions?

And I'm doing an interview type post, so that you guys can get to know me better. Ask anything! I need questions in order to do it aha.

Thank you guys so much for reading <333

--Christian Castillo.

Oh yeah, Happy fourth of July BTW.

2009-07-04T16:51:00.002-05:00

(fireworks, feet, and bubble picture taken by Leah Rose Ershler.)

Just a preview of what's to come!

xx Been having lots of adventures for you to indulge on :)

HOW HAVE ALL OF YOU BEEN !! ??

--Christian Castillo

Ask questions! I might do an interview post thinger about myself. So I need questions, questions, questions!

Adventures are my Favorite! + Pretty Pictures

2009-06-27T12:25:00.008-05:00

(Most pictures taken by: Leah Rose Ershler except for the one below that was my BB.)

Summer has just barley started and yet it has gone amazingly well. I just wanna yell at the top of my lungs, "Hello world I love my life!" because I do. I don't mean that in a snobby-haha-your-life-sucks-mine-doesn't-hope-you-die-xoxo kind of way because I hope yours is going just as well.

It hasn't all gone well BUT we'll save those stories for the next one, yeah?

Okay okay! So let's stop stalling and start talking er typing? First of all, I have summer school (I KNOW.) but some of my best friends are there too so it's all good.

Event #1: I skipped Tuesday because I got very drunk on Monday and was way to hungover. Toni and a new friend by the name of Hannah came and picked me up, hm joy at around 9 on Monday! On our way to Arby's some ghetto ass people decided to start chasing us. SCARY. they thoughts we looked wrong at them or something and they chased us all the way down to the Arby's drive-thru. DUDE WHAT THE FUCK. This scrawny wangster gets out of the car and starts yelling at us. Hannah goes off on him and Toni and me are just like ahh don't kill us please. The guy gets over it and leaves we get our food and off to Toni's we go. I drank being depressed and it wasn't that fun. Seven shots of vodka and boom I was gone as I hadn't sleep in two days due to the bad incidents that I will talk about later. Like I said that was the first time I've ever drunk being depressed and you know what? It sucks. SO. FUCK THAT. I will only drink when I'm happy and just want too. Not to boohoohoo forget my problems -- 'tis a bit lame! I don't remember much more about that night except dancing to 'Ego' by Beyonce and then falling on the bed and Toni waking me up at 6:30 to go to summer school. I was like, "Um no you are mistaken if you think I'm going today."

Event #2: Thursday after school my good friends Leah and Chloe invited me to go get high with them along with three other people that I sort of know. I didn't really want to at first cause of the people but they turned out to be super nice. Anywho we were using a bong. HOLY SHIT. I never wanted to smoke again I took a huge hit and I thought I was gonna throw up and die and oh jeeze. It passed though and when we got to Chloe's wow was I up there. Leah and I kept dancing and just eating food and saying the most random things. Seriously we thought we were swimming at one point? Chloe dining table is around a whole sunroom that includes a sunroof so I basically almost got on the table and tanned, which would have been bad. We then went swimming and pretended to be mermaids. It was all smiles!

Event #3: This happened Friday night. Boy oh boy. It started out very sober. Leah and I went tanning while listening to Tegan & Sara. I sweat profusely it was my first time actually tanning we baked for about an hour (natural BTW). We both needed a shower very badly after so we did that. I uh got like..a half a shade darker? Yeah. Haha. After that like the losers we are we spent most of our time on the INTERWEBZ waiting for our friend Chloe (second to last picture, girl standing and laughing ^) to get off work. BUT THEN OH. She gets a skip call even though she was at school so then her mom freaks out. So she isn't sure if she can go out anymore. Leah (she's the girl with the short hair ^) and I say fuck dat shit boo let's go on an adventure, so we do. To this place by her house and we call up our friend Jordyn (the one playing with the sand ^) to hang out with us. Pictures of the adventure are above. She catches up to us. I call my dad for $ to get that green. Green for green lawlz y'all. We head downtown take some pictures then off to the suburbs to get that green. Now here is the sketchy part. My friend Chloe her cousin Nicca (who looks like she belongs in 90210/Gossip Girl) are like, come party with us. Chloe was abot to get out and they kept on talking really quietly and being so weird. The thing is Nicca was house sitting her best friend, Louisa's house and so we parted in Louisa's room who I barley know and drank Tequila and smoked. I had three shots and see here is the thing. Chloe drunk and high is one thing to handle. Christian drunk and high is one thing to handle. BUT get both of us together? You've just created mass chaos. We become an explosion of gossip-talking-giggly-crazy-shit-doing-random-nonsense-fun! Those pictures of me on the ball? I'm flying er so I thought I was? The party had to end at 11:20 because we all had to get home by 12, sucked. So we had to sober up but I really couldn't. I drunk dialed some here and there. Got sober enough to say, "Hi mom. I'm home, love you bye."

This is my life in a nutshell. But now let's talk about you followers! Tell me crazy stories! Do you like my adventures? Should I change the blog name?

OPINIONS OPINIONS OPINIONS

bad or good, give give give.

Next pots coming up: Scavenger hunt, Ghost hunting (!!), The bad side to summer ( oh :( no

--Christian Castillo

Roamers of the dark

2009-06-26T00:16:00.006-05:00

The whisper was lost,
Not brokenhearted.
The haunting of a memory's past,
Smoke curled around us.
Bad breaths and coughing.
The trees seemed disturbed.
Ghosts of the night, roamers of the dark, guardians of yesterday.
When the flame goes on inhale and let your body float.
Now exhale and let go.

(Tell me what you think as in what you think its about, what do you think of it in general and so on. Comments always appreciated! This is pretty much a rough draft and I have one of these now -- Tumblr follow me!.)

Update: Parties and other Teenage Activities,

2009-06-17T12:03:00.008-05:00

Boo! I'm back and boy oh boy do I have stories! Don't you love this creepy photo of I? My friend Leah took it we were downtown. It was a very chill night.

But onto the exciting news. Christian Castillo is talking in third person and is also loving his life because I've found this exciting world of new people and I'm getting closer with others. This makes me all giggly and what not.

At first I felt that I wanted to control life. Freaking out about this and that and may that be the correct way or not to go on about it, it's not how I like it. I've discovered and learned to master this new sensation of whatever. Now, this may sound bad -- I understand but it's not an, I-hate-the-world-fuck-off-what-is-going-on-I'm-sick-and-tired-of-this-bullshit-so-emo-cry-cry-cry-whatever it's just more of a: I'm gonna live my life whatevs, whatevs -- you know? Because obviously the other way was not working.

"Bitch, we are the fucking Milky Way." (Quote from party number two, below)

So let me tell you:

I've had two amazing nights. The first story happens Wednesday. I got dropped of at my friend Leah's house where her and our friend David hung out for a bit. Wanna hear a secret? I tried that little green plant ;) for the first time It turned out to be very fun. I mean, fuck it, I've already been corrupted enough this year why not just do it all, and uh no I'm not going to go do hardcore drugs don't worry y'all. Wednesday honestly though was beautiful as well as scary. !! Warning the proceeding may be scary if you're alone...in the dark...and stuff !! : So that night we were going to go to a small get together but we didn't want to share the green plant which is why we went to go do it at a park. I kid you not when I say I saw ghosts because it wasn't just or Mr. Green. I saw man walking across the park and I've talked about this park before, Hoyt -- the one where the guy killed himself? Yup. Then just there was this odd rattling chain and then we all just looked around and it was SO SO SO scary. David turned the car on and we rushed out of there and parked on a resedential near by street. Now this next part may sound like I was very fucked up which I wasn't at least not then. Anywho I look up and see a little girl running, outlined in white, and some parts of her disspearing and then right before she reached the top of the hill she disspeared! David saw it too, we described it to eachother. That shit was scary. Then we went to our friends at one point David and I chased Jack Daniel's with water, yuck. Relaxed doing hookah and passed out at 4 am. Can that be any better? Oh my friends it can because since we were already a bit paranoid we honestly thought three people were out to murder us at the party -- I think I'm gonna save the rest of this for vlog however that I will be doing soon!

Next party, no scary content: This was on Thursday. I went to party with my 'Asians' friends which they aren't all Asian but it's whatever. Oh man, so much fun. We did some hookah and drank all that regular fun stuff. We had a gossip circle as well which I got too much joy out of. Then that broke up so my friend Christina and I (she's the girl in the picture >) had our own little chit chat because she had to leave at 12 am it was so sad. We made a fun little handshake since she's Christina and I'm Christian we did a high five and then each of made a 'C' with our hand and did the Chanel symbol, fucking adorbes. At this party someone also taped me and some other people singing 'A Thousand Miles' by Vanessa Carlton very drunk, that should be fun to watch. Here is the best part of the story though, GLOW STICK PARTY MANIA A LA GAGA STYLE. We bought a bunch of glowsticks, cut them in half, turned off the light, closed our eyes, shut out mouths, and like our hands go crazy and throw the glow stick fluid everywhere. When we opened our eyes, it was like a galaxy! Bitch, we were the fucking milky. it was so fun then we did war paint. It was magical. Jealous? You should try it -- Oh yeah and there was skinny dipping.

What have I learned about myself/Things?

I like taking car rides, windows down, music blasting, and singing like shit but it being okay.
Mr. Green = likeable
I'm loving this new life and I honestly think it's always been my calling, lawlz
I've been going about it all wrong, and, I'm fixing it
I'm blind
The band Chromeo is love, The magazine Interview is beautiful
I love taking walks in the summer when its starting to get dark
I think I don't like soda anymore
I want to work out and so I am
I want more
I'm excited
This, this is good.

and all good things must come to an end, right? So I'm scared but as my new life motto suggests: why think about the end? It's whatevs, whatevs -- you know?

.......Oh & I love this picture of the Olsen (almost as much as my BlackBerry...)....

Until next time kiddies, don't forget to follow me on Twitter and suscribe to christianthejew1727 and watch my one video (more later, I promise !)

--Christian Castillo

So Sorry!!

2009-06-15T17:27:00.001-05:00

Sorry about having no posts, haven't had internet for a while!

XX will be posting very soon, internet comes back later today or tomorrow.

Until then!

--Christian Castillo

A quick message.

2009-06-07T00:15:00.002-05:00

I feel violated as I have been visually molested by this video here, of Joe Jonas dancing to single ladies.

Also I've realized that I enjoy being in stores. For example my friends and I will go shopping and I'll want to look at every single thing and try everything on and make them try everything on and I'm like WAIT I feel like we haven't looked good enough. And then people are like ahhh I wanna leave. And I'm all NO MOFO.

yeah.

I Wanna be an Artsy Kid, too!

2009-06-02T23:50:00.008-05:00

I've had this craving to do some creative for a while now. I'm talking about designing. I've always wanted to try it out. Now I know I can't do anything like, Bec Wonders. No, I wanna make t-shirts with fun statements and random objects on them. With interesting funny questions perhaps? I've always wanted a shirt like that but the ones I like always turn out to be incredibly expensive and I have no idea why (well I do) but it doesn't make sense to me. If you're interested in maybe working something out because I have no idea how to do screen printing and what not, you should leave a comment or send an email! It be fun to work with someone to make tee shirts. Something fun like that of, Tit Tees a fun brand created by Sarah back in 2007 or something like 5PREVIEW tee shirts. I'm defintely loving this idea right now. I hope it lasts. I've always been into shirts like that.

What other Artsy things do I feel like doing, well I'm sure (or am assuming ha) most of you know of the great project of PostSecret because I just thought of this, this weekend. Some friends came up from Illinois and one of the days we went out to breakfest (uhm at 12 p.m.) at Flat Top, delicious food. Anyways I decided to make a note for the waitress to leave along with her tip. It said, 'You're Beautiful' and my friend added, 'Thanks for making our first meal of the day, a good one :)!' and then we all signed it. Then at Denny's the next day we did the same but we changed it (since she had a nametag) we put, 'Amber, keep serving with a smile -- you make Denny's a special place! :)' how I wish I could see their reactions! And so what right? Well I don't know how well it could work but it be cool if maybe people could leave notes like that to waitresses and be able to take pictures of it before they leave then send in pictures! So it be like: Go to a restaurant (if the waitress was nice and all) leave a note at the end, just a small thank you. Then take a picture of it don't try to make it fancy and clear the table or anything, just take a picture of it. Then send it to me at christian1727@live.com we'll see how well this works. It just be kind of fun to see what everyone says and knowing it could have highly potentially made someone smile :). I will try to do this as often as I can.

I like giving people compliments. A while back some of my friends were like you could like save the world with your compliments. Ha! So I decided to be like, well it is Project Christian after all. A project that is out to raise people's self-esteem.

I really do wanna get some fun creative stuff like this done. I also wanna make some fun jewlery, and just make some fun stuff then have a photo shoot. Oh I also really want to help style photo shoots. So if you live here and are looking for someone to do that, ohaii ;)!

--Christian Castillo

P.S. My article for the Christian Siriano shoes finally got put up so if you haven't read it or just feel like checking out the encore status, click here, hope you enjoy!

No One is Laughing at God, We're all Laughing With God.

2009-05-31T22:19:00.004-05:00

-Baha glasses (actually prescription this time) they're Coach but I'm getting Prada ones later!-

My new obsession is Regina Spektor's new album, Far, its beutiful. ^ That's a lyrics from her song 'Laughing With...' its just so peaceful and calm.

I am about to have a rant session about life, just warning.

I don't know. I'm happy because I feel like I know where I'm heading, where I'm going, I'm realizing what I want is happening. Right, so why should I be sad?

Put it this way. I'm in a room and doors around me are opening. I've finally found the one I need that is for me the one leading me to the path I've been looking for all along. But once I step through it will close behind me. Leaving a wall between me and my loved ones, the ones that just walked out through a different door.

Love is such a strange silly thing, no?

I never thought it was for me and I still don't believe it is. Why must we always hurt the ones we most love? It sucks. Where do I go from here? How do I say goodbye and when do I say goodbye? I just don't want it to end in a pitiful divorce where we end up hating each other or just a horrible break up. I want it to end good just remembering the good and laughing at the bad. I don't want to hate anymore. I say terrible things but I'm really not all that bad so once again how come I always end up hurting those close to me?

I feel like a mystery to myself sometimes, what exactly or rather who exactly am I?
In front of me is a bulletin board filled of pictures and quotes and such. From the book Post Secret I cut out one I thought was true it says, 'I've given away all my secrets...and I feel so free' but I haven't

I am a secret.

I've always been the type to know everything (not cocky academically wise, I suck at school) but with people. During my parents divorce I was the messenger, people always come to me for gossip or spill their secrets to me even if I only just met them. I never use it against them. I did it once and never again. Still I'm known as this information source I've been told I could be the male version of Gossip Girl.

So because of this I am this interlocking chain of secrets. In ways I live different lives and each one is a dangerous chemical and if one were to mix with the other there would be some crazy explosion.

And is this even making sense anymore?

I'm not depressed.
I'm not angry.

In one of my life's I'm extremely happy, like - frolicking through fields of sunshine happy.

And in another, I'm sort of there. Numb. No smiles no frowns no tears just there. Numb Numb untouchable.

but now I'm just tired.

sorry for the rant but I feel much better now!

actual update later xx kiddies

--Christian Castillo

AND TO TOP IT ALL OFF, THE INTERNET ON MY BLACKBERRY ISN'T WORKING.

:) that is all xoxo

Cleopatra the Fierce

2009-05-27T19:29:00.004-05:00

The over talented 'fierce' designer and winner of Project Runway's fourth season, Christian Siriano, has collaborated with Payless Shoes. But you'll have to wait until September to snatch a pair as they were created for his fall line of '09 and as always there was good and bad reaction. The shoes come off a bit S&M which turn some people off however the true inspiration for them (as well as his Fall '09 collection) was Egypt and the great Cleopatra. Which explains why the shoes definitely come with a feel of power, domination, and mystery. What is more to love about the collaboration - oh! well only the fact that they're actually affordable. The shoes will range from $25 to $45 and get this, he's gotten hate mail for it! People saying they would never pay that much for shoes, which is a little crazy. Maybe they didn't take this little fact into consideration: they are designer shoes at a very low price. Other critiques include, that they are too much of copy cat versions of Rodarte's footwear from a few seasons back. What do I have to say to that? If these are a copy cat version what about the rest of the studded/spiked/chained shoes that have come out recently? I say props to him for making them affordable and as always, fierce.
(Photo: Imaxtree)

This is new the article I just wrote for EncoreStatus.com I hope you guys enjoy it. Critique is appreciated!!! Really and so is comments but really I'd like to make he writing better so if you have any bring it on. I'll link the article once its on the website. Thanks for reading :)

Happy Birthday!

2009-05-27T16:57:00.001-05:00

To me!

I turn 17 today. I will have a car soon and hopefully other fun gifts UHM clothes!

Partying Friday and then Saturday some more!

Love it, love it, love it.

Friends made me cake and cookies and what not. Some cards here and there.

It's been nice so far.

Unlike last years birthday which was horrible and spent crying in my room.

I want to thank Yamila for the birthday wish, too sweet of you!

until later!

--Christian Castillo

I Make Them Good Girls Go Bad

2009-05-25T21:58:00.007-05:00

Even if these aren't the best pictures in the world, they're some of the best times of my life. Within in the past three weeks I've made great friends. I've met amazing people I would have never talked to before. On Sunday I went to a bonfire it was at this park by school, named Hoyt and it was fantastic! Kind of odd too because about four days ago a guy killed himself there! You might have heard of it, it was all over the news. He had killed his wife and someone else I believe in a suburb right by my city and then his van was spotted at the parking lot of the park last Friday. So we had like an emergency warning it was so scary because it was right before lunch and we have an hour off campus lunch plus there is a preschool that gets out then and the kids all walk around that neighborhood! The park is like five minutes away in car. The party was at the park and we were right by the suicide scene! We knew this because there is only one cave at the park, thats where he shot himself. Where we were was not so far away.

It was too much fun my friends and I were anti social at first because no one is really drunk and it was really awkward so we went to go sit a little far away and we all had our cell phones out, ha! But then we loosened up and started to mingle. Oh jeez! Then my friends had to leave early and I didn't have a ride home so they were going to take me home and it was only 10 p.m. and I said fuck that noise! So as we were leaving I found a girl that lived by me and she was so nice and took me home way later. So I went back and talked to random people it was awesome!

School is over in two weeks that is so crazy! Also I still need music to download (suggestions!!?)!!

Way too much fun this weekend, ha I also went around making a song for everyone now mind you, I can't sing OR play guitar so it was very entertaining!

XX Hope you all had great weekends XX

--Christian Castillo

P.S. I have bruises: Friend and I taking pictures on top of her car on Saturday and when I was trying to get off I ended up rolling off, haha! Then Sunday at the bonfire I tripped on a tree but it was all good, didn't spill my drink!

So What We Gon' Have, Dessert or Disaster?

2009-05-20T20:00:00.007-05:00

Wow. I feel as if the past two weeks have just flew by. Busy and well. If you've read the last two posts you'll know (and are probably sick of hearing...) that I got a new phone! A red BlackBerry Curve! My dad surprised me with it last Saturday while we were out to lunch it made me like him a little again (baha!). I think I obsessively use exclamation points!!

For my next post on encorestatus.com I will be doing an article on shoes, so I will post that when I'm done for feedback (good or bad, all accepted!). I'm also looking forward to doing an interview with a girl at school. Her name is Haluna and she has sick style, seriously. She wants to be a designer and designs beautiful dresses from scratch - at least the one I've seen but she has shirts and shorts and some other things too. She's having a photo shoot soon (hope she'll invite me!) and then once there are pictures doing an article of her to send in.

It feels like life is finally taking off. You know what? Who cares about huge ivy leauges and great school? Fuck Harvard, Brown, Yale, and my very own University of Wisconsin. I just don't know. Is it low to just want to go to MATC? Maybe do a two year transfer to UW? What I'd really love is to go to Columbia in Chicago (private college) or a fun place in New York! I just know my grades suck. That is why I'm working so hard on free lance writing because it is my true passion and goal in life to work for a magazine. Its right up there on the list of 'becoming a hipster' haha!

What other fun details are there. I will be going shopping this weekend hopefully. I am in need of just plain fun shorts. Mine are all plaid and there is this hideous green/brown colored one. I just want some nice khaki type in different colors without those huge pockets. Ones that I could roll a little - loving that style!

Example:

Lovely outfit, no? So jealous of this guy, Andrew's outfits (and body and hair and tan, not gonna lie! OH AND OF COURSE HE'S FROM SWEDEN...*death glare*) I seriously want this outfit so badly!!! So I will be shopping for that.

School is almost coming to an end in around a month! Crazy shit! I just made so many senior friends this semester and I'm going to miss them terribly. Maybe I can't say I love them but I like them a whole lot!

Anywho, I will be job shadowing a stylist from a local magazine here. She's gonna show me around the office and what they do just kinda to get the feel of it all. In my heart I know so badly that is what I want to do though.

QUESTION: Know any good music to download? Would greatly appreciate it!

My birthday is also in a week exactly! Wow so excited. CAR!

I think that is all for now, OH and if you didn't see -- I got a twitter so >> http://twitter.com/christianthejew

-- Christian Castillo

Erhm...Quick Post #3

2009-05-18T23:23:00.004-05:00

Hi sorry, I know I promised a long blog but so busy with school!

It's almost near the end ah! Then senior! So crazy.

I will try to write all about my fun adventures at some point next week.

And also, I want to thank everyone that comments it means so much. I will try to comment everyone back as soon as I have some free time!

AH I BASICALLY LOVE MY NEW PHONE, HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT?!

BLACKBERRY: COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT IT ANYMORE.

OH YEAH, and I got a twitter? Yup yup.

http://twitter.com/christianthejew

erhm.

<--I look shitty but whatever, I was having fun! Asian friends + under the influence = love. P.S. To be more correct, it isn't a fashion blog I write for (I mean it is but...) its a legit online magazine based in Chicago!!! FUCKING EXCITING. I AM WRITING FOR AN ONLINE MAGAZINE. Dreams just may actually come true people.

Quick Post #2:

2009-05-16T20:01:00.003-05:00

Partying this weekend like you wouldn't believe.

I love life, a lot, like a lot. KNOCK ON WOOD Y'ALL~~~

Got a new phone: Red Blackberry Curve, yum right? :)

So many things going on, I'll have a proper post soon! Until then kiddies!

XX

--Christian Castillo

Ur Not In Fashion

2009-05-12T21:38:00.008-05:00

UPDATE: The girl loved it, I will be joining her blog soon, so look for updates on that! Check it out, Encore Status

Ur Not In Fashion (UNIF) that's why we're here is how UNIF sees there line of clothes which is always outgoing and fun. So, this summer -- ditch the expensive designer price of Dior and Chanel and instead go with their 72$ retro frames. Because let's face it, no one wants to wear heavy weight items in the summer and the retro sunglasses are the complete opposite emboding light weight with their exposed wires and clear frame (they come in eggshell, midnight, and clear). Get ready to sit by the poolside in your a la Gaga frames by snatching them now -- and let's not even get started on those 'shutter shades'...

Just wrote this article to a fashion blog which might take me in to do reviews. Sort of excited it is my first fashion critique type of thing. Like, yes or no? I think its fairly recent but comments are appreciated -- I want to get better! Anyways if my review made you want to get them (Are they not precious?!) here is the link to them: Unif Ottico Collection

Warning:

2009-05-11T23:58:00.003-05:00

This summer may be too hot to handle

Cheesy? Yes, Correct Statement ^? Yes

CAN'T WAIT, CAN'T WAIT, CAN'T WAIT

Enjoy my little eye pleasing colorness up there ^

Th1rteen R3asons Why

2009-05-11T18:30:00.007-05:00

SYNOPSIS: Clay Jensen returns home from school to find a mysterious box with his name on it lying on his porch. Inside he discovers several cassette tapes recorded by Hannah Baker--his classmate and crush--who committed suicide two weeks earlier. On tape, Hannah explains that there are thirteen reasons why she decided to end her life. Clay is one of them. If he listens, he'll find out how he made the list.

My Review/Summary: Poor Clay, is only a simply boy who is shy and one could say, quiet. Making it a shock to him when hearing Hannah Baker say that he is one of the thirteen reasons she ended her life. What could he have done to hurt her? I'll let you find that out on your own. The reasons are all people, all thirteen of them. What I like is that the author, Jay Asher, did not make Hannah Baker a goth or freak character. In fact, she is the opposite beautiful even. Although she is mostly regarded as 'hot' and the girl with the 'nice ass'. Which is why the snowball effect happens one things leads to another and then at the end it leads back to the beginning, a web of actions. You discover the secrets of the other characters or rather 'the other reasons' and you'll find yourself quickly hating them, how could they? You won't want to put it down because you want to know if you'll also hate Clay, what did he do? I kept asking myself if I could hate him too after she explained his reason because it is not just Hannah talking you also get to know Clay through out the tapes. Of course you'll want him to shut up and press play but sometimes he keeps talking. It is amusing how mad I would get, SHUT UP CLAY. PRESS PLAY, I WANNA HEAR HANNAH. True story, I said this out loud. I find it so intriguing as to how the author came up for the idea for the book. While in a museum, listening to a woman in headphones talk about the painting he was standing in front of. Speaking all about it -- yet -- she wasn't there. That is where the other part of the story comes in because all the mean while Hannah also had each of her uhm 'friends' receive maps. Marked with red stars about the places she talks about. Clay follows it forgetting his life for a while or so it seems. You will see him interact with other characters from the tapes through out and it will shock you as to how some have responded. Why do they listen to the tapes of a dead girl blaming them? Because she has threatened them. Warning that they are being watched and there is someone with a second set of tapes which will be released if the tapes don't get passed around to all thirteen people. So what? Well see, the tapes contain very highly secret information that would beyond embarrass some of the people as well as many would be in trouble with the police for their doings. So they listen and feel all that guilt. The book really helps to understand how one rumor starts more and how all those rumors pile up on a person. How sometimes unlike a character named Mr. Porter seems to think, it is not that easy to just....move....on. Don't get me wrong -- Hannah is not all innocence, she takes credit for her bad as well as good actions. The last scene will almost steal your breath -- could it be that...she too -- and it seems that Clay learns it is never too late. Read the book and you'll understand what I'm talking about. Suicide is real and this book definitely takes you to a dark place we've all been too before but most often ignore or brush away once we're happy but what happens, when you can't? What happens when it feels like there is no one to turn to. As I was checking it out I asked the librarian what she thought or had heard of it. She laughed and told me, some middle schools were trying to ban it. Suicide is a 'hard' topic and it is, unless we do something about it. The way I have started to see it is that maybe there is no real Gossip Girl website or person out there but if you think about it, we all are guys and girls. We're the Gossip Girl generation but we also want to change the world. What Hannah Baker does is open a lot of people's eyes and slap them back into reality -- stop them from turning the other cheek once more.

So if you've read the book share! Read it -- what do you think, hate it or love it?

--Christian Castillo

Something is Been Bothering Me....

2009-05-11T14:16:00.003-05:00

Didn't win the poetry contest. Bummed -- a lot. Should I attend the party for it? I'm an 'honorable mention' but not even 4th place. I just, I thought it was really good and I worked so hard. I've never actually wanted something so bad and it hurts but I mean what can I do much improve right? Still...I wanted 1st place so bad maybe even settled for 2nd but when I opened that envelope I was so excited, I must have read it over 100 times making sure I read it correctly and it was the same each time.

This is the poem BTW:

The Red Skeleton

The night she died started out like any other night.
She looked beyond the mirror,
Somewhere past the icy glass into a delusional land.
Getting lost in a reflection of too many imperfections.
The night she died, she sat alone in a luxurious tub.
Her thin frame captured by darkness, broken only by a beam of light.
Her body distorted by the water as well as her own thoughts.
And even in the dark she could feel Ana's scrawny arms pointing out flaws,
She could still taste Mia lingering throughout her mouth-
As she ever so carefully tried to breathe.
These actions, nicknamed Ana and Mia, a danger to befriend.
Everyone treated her with precaution except for them.
Instead molding her into their sight of perfection,
Their ideas of impossible size.
The night she died, in front of her hung a sleek object.
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the thinnest of them all?
Mirror mirror on the wall who is the thinnest of them all?
And just as always, she ignored her pleas.
The girl in the mirror only turned with great disgust,
Her shoulders sharp enough to cut.
Stating her obvious demand, mouthing, if only you had lost, Five. More. Pounds.
And the girl, trapped withing herself, just on the other side, broke down.
A complex shivering cry, she submerged deeper into the tub.
The night she died she betrayed the mirror,
And became part of it all at once.
Because the more her heart rate increased the more she wanted to yell and scream
And so she did. Her knuckles scourging the mirror.
Bleeding horror.
The rain of jagged glass making splashing noises in her bath.
It only took two heart beats for her to lose her mind.
And what was the point in finding it, if all it caused was a reign of misery?
The night she died, the skeleton girl had found odd beauty.
She wasn't sure and she didn't care but-
For reasons unknown she broke out into a vulgar cackle.
Perhaps, from the guilt or the pain, when she realized red liquid made her come alive.
At least for a few last smiles of discovery.
The night she died, she saw a peculiar sight.
Soft flesh muted the sound of glass against bone,
The color of passion trickling down into a waterfall of insecurity.
And the peculiar sight came when without warning,
She saw her again, saw herself once more.
A beautiful wreck dripped in cold red,
Only small speckles of her ever reflected back then.
And for the first time she could shyly smile back.
The night she died, she was her only witness.

Has anyone else ever expierenced something similar? If so, share...please?

--Christian Castillo

Weekend.

2009-05-10T15:33:00.002-05:00

Dear Weekend,

Thanks for reminding me why I love life. Thanks, for reminding me why my friends are my friends. Thank you for letting me laugh and laugh over and over again. Thank you for all the nonsense and awkward moments. Most of all though, thank you for introducing me to people I thought I'd never like --thank you, for not letting me judge a 'book' by its cover for once -- because I do that all to often. I'm already missing you and eager to see you in a week, okay?

Sincerely (with all my love),
Christian Castillo.

P.S. I might post some pictures of the good times and also I finished Th1rteen R3asons Why great fucking book.

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, I know I sure did.

Such a Pretty Girl

2009-05-07T19:21:00.008-05:00

This morning, I used the time I had to get a book at the library. I picked up two books. One was called Such a Pretty Girl by Laura Wiess and the other Th1rteen R3asons Why by Jay Asher. I am also on the look out for Nine Stories by J.D Salinger. The Nine Stories and Th1rteen R3asons Why books were recommended by two people in the last post so, thank you girls!

Such a Pretty girl by Laura Wiess, I initially picked it up for its simple yet elegant cover. As well as its intriguing name. I read the back to find one of my favorite author make a comment about it (Ellen Hopkins) and if that wasn't enough to convince me it was said to have the indelible impact of The Perks of Being a Wallflower and after reading that there was no convincing me not to get the book. I started reading it the morning instantly hooked its first sentence causing confusion -- They promised me nine years of safety but only gave me three. -- I read it every chance I could get and finished it shortly after getting home from school. Its a short book and breath taking.It lingers around a horrible subject: Molestation and on top of that, incest. The main character, Meridith has to deal with her father being a pervert who gets let lose six years prior to his release date. She's scared and who wouldn't be? She wasn't the only girl he hurt nor the only gender he hurt either. Her crippled lover who lives in her area, was also robbed of his innocence years ago (by her father) and his mother moved there (looking nothing like she once did) to seek revenge on the prey hungry monster. The tale unravels a girl dealing with something most turn away from -- those who seek easier solutions like drugs and alcohol and more or less of the same, hurt. Struggling because it seems anything she leans on is unsturdy except for her grandmother. Her mother is off being delusional forgiving and forgetting rather than remembering and dealing with it. Her mother feels threatened by Meridith because as sick as it is she loves her husband and claims people make mistakes and she knows he's after Meridith's still youthful and playful body. Rape, is rarely ever a mistake because its done intentionally. I highly recommend this book you'll be left with butterflies in your stomach as you read the last word on the last sentence slowly closing the book and reflecting. I promise you this you'll be left wondering if miracles really do exist or if the author is simply toying with the reader.

--Christian Castillo

I Was Told That Kite Flying is For Lovers...

2009-05-06T20:09:00.007-05:00

For the past hour I've sat here starring outside occasionally looking back at the blank screen teasing me. I had no idea what to write and I'm not sure I wanted too. I felt like being outside it had just rained and there was that great fresh smell. There was still little droplets here and there, I opened the window as well as the screen and just sorta poked my head out it felt delicious, those little gusts of wind. I had flashbacks to dances in the rain as a child. Then suddenly I felt the sky come alive. It went from dark hues of blues to stunning shades of pinks and purples and hints of oranges as if to remind its spring and summer isn't too far off. It was almost sunset like and beautiful no doubt.

Also, I just want to see my Interview magazine and Nylon magazine+T-Shirt arrive in the mail already!

(Last year!)

I've been curious to go to the Nylon Summer Music Tour anyone ever been? Last year they blasted off The Virgins (which happens to be one of my favorite bands, so angry their concert here was only 18+) and they're new line up sounds amazing. I'd have to find someone to drive down to Chicago with me....hmm. Also my orthodontist hopes to get my braces of this summer. That would make me so happy! I hate these braces, why so many people think they look cute is beyond me. My teeth weren't that gross or terrible but they were a big insecurity and once the braces come off mommy has promised I can get them whitened to the point where they fucking sparkle. Maybe if I even get fit enough I could try modeling some? Ha! Hm...Anywho I think I might be having a job soon? I have to do the interview still but it is a job at a bank so not bad for a first job and the pay is amazing, NEW CLOTHES HERE I COME, I plan on owning at least one Marc Jacobs item during my lifetime.

Question: Any suggestions for what to read next? I feel lost and out of place when I don't have at least one book to lose myself in.

Here is my list of books I remember, read, and love:

Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
I Am the Messenger by Markus Zusak
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Crank by Ellen Hopkins
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins
Glass by Ellen Hopkins
Coraline by Neil Gaiman
Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
The Delivery Man by Joe McGinniss Jr.
There Are No Children Here by Alex Kotlowitz
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan
Noami and Ely's No Kiss List by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan
A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
A Thousand Suns by Khaled Hosseini
The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett

So suggestions on what to read next would be much appreciated!

--Christian Castillo

Bel Canto by Ann Patchett

2009-05-05T22:16:00.005-05:00

I just finished Bel Canto written by Ann Patchett a beautiful story with such unexpected elements. I started reading it well over two maybe even three months ago. It captured me quickly at first making me want more and more then suddenly just like mineral water its taste quickly fizzled out. I felt confused and cheated. Where was the passion why was there so much boring suspension? I kept asking myself as well as reminding myself that the librarian told me it would go slow. Still the whole first scene so clearly in my head. The kiss from the beginning so fresh in my mind. Of course it isn't exactly a for sure kiss everyone just 'remembers' it. I should probably stop confusing you and give you some details. Well it is based on a true story but with added goodies, of course. It is based on a hostage that took place in Peru, in the Vice Presiden't house.

Here is the description you'll find on the book:

Somewhere in South America, at the home of the country's Vice President, a lavish birthday party is being held in honor of Mr. Hosokawa, a powerful Japanese businessman. Roxane Coss, opera's most revered soprano, has mesmerized the international guests with her singing. It is a perfect evening -- until a band of gun-wielding terrorists breaks in through the air-conditioning vents and takes the entire party hostage. But what begins as a panicked, life-threatening scenario slowly evolves into something quite different, as terrorists and hostages forge unexpected bonds and people from different countries and continents become compatriots. Friendship, compassion, and the chance for great love lead the characters to forget the real danger that has been set in motion and cannot be stopped.

After a certain point of the book, you won't be able to stop reading, the thirst came back within in me. It was like I had to read, I read in every class at night to the early hours. I fell in love with every main character. I indulged myself in their world I almost felt part of it, I myself forgot about the danger they were in (including the terrorists) I didn't want to remember. I just wanted them to stay there forever and keep denying their old life until they completely forgot it.

The end I couldn't tell I will however tell you, it is worth the read.

Sweden....I'm on to you....

2009-04-29T20:27:00.007-05:00

Is this not great. It has totally inspired me, finally something to work with. I am tired of being stuck in this tiny shared room of 4 white bland walls with a crammed closet. I have nothing to light my fire-no excitement. AH get me out of here ASAP Y'ALL.

BREAKING NEWS:
During second hour today my Asian friend, HanSam, and I, figured out the mystery. Not a mystery : the mystery. We were learning about genocide this and that and had to research a country. But of course being the fashion-addicted-loud-and-annoying-mean children that we are, we instead went on to lookbook.nu and proceeded to, hate on our own lives for not being well, a lookbookie. After she and I were both done drooling over clothes we can't and won't have as well as bodies, we made a plan of action. We will get on lookbook, take our pictures, and it will be great. Now that is aside, time to tell you our evil sneaky plan (for all those fugs that can't take a joke, this is a joke). All the really really really beautiful people from lookbook as well as in school are from Sweden. Never once have I seen an ugly Swedish person. This is obviously, a red flag, no? I mean having NO ugly people? So since we were on the subject of genocide, we figured it out!

There is a genocide going on in Sweden that none of even care or know about - they KILL the FUGS. OUTFUCKINGRAGEOUS Y'ALL. STRAIGHT UP BRITNEY SHAVING HER MOTHAFUCKAING LOCKS CRAZY.

A snippet of our conversation:

Han Sam: Ah, I don't want to be a lesbian, Christian save me from going to Smith ahhh!
Christian: As long as you're a lipstick or a cute butch like Danny from Tila Tequila it is all good. If not then....
Han Sam and Christian: Bahahahahaha *look at ugly people and remember what we've said about them* ahahahahahahahahahahaha
----Some more laughing later and.....
Christian: Woah. Take. A. STEP. BACK! I figured it out.
Han Sam: Woah. Woah. Whattttt?
Christian: Obviously there is a genocide in Sweden.
Han Sam: No way, no way, google that shit. Google that fucking shit.
Christian: How else would you explain no fugs from sweden. It is not okay. Well I mean it is cause look at how beautiful they all are but its still uhm "morally wrong" or something.
Han Sam: Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod. We have to save them.
Christian: Okay woah! NO.
Han Sam: Hm...You're right. We should just let the people know, to kinda remember them you know?
Christian: Yes. Well the semi pretties we can ship to Beverly Hills and give them make over face lifts the whole shabang. BUT IF THEY EVER TRY TO BREED THEMSELVES THEY CAN AND WILL BE SHOT.
Han Sam: Ohmygod, what if someone tries to attack Sweden?!
Christian: OKAY, WOAH. THAT IS NOT OKAY. THAT IS NOT AN OKAY THOUGHT. WOAH. NOT THE LAND OF THE BEAUTIFULS NO WAY
----more laughing and lesbian talk

Examples of the Swedish lookbookies:

Obviously the Swedish have achieved such perfection through pure breeding methods. Only letting the beautiful mate while the fugs were sent to be killed. I KNOW YOUR SECRET SWEDEN, I AM FUCKING UP TO YOU !! So, we have decided (Asian and I) that we will go to Sweden and figure it all out BUT so they won't mistake us for the unpure breed we will make a pit stop in Beverly Hills first. Where will dye our hair signifiacally lighter, get contacts, and all these fun clothes.

It is going to be so James Bond meets Blair from the last episode of gg with her spying on Serena's bf and what not. BUT MUCH MUCH BETTER.

If any of you Swedens have any information, TELL ME, ARE THERE FUGLIES IN SWEDEN (PICTURES ARE A +++)

(Obviously that was all a joke, but I really have never seen someone ugly from there, so my large question from above still waits to be answered.)

THANKS Y'ALL CATCH YA LATTA ALIGATTA.

--Christian Castillo

Photo Shoot !

2009-04-27T00:56:00.003-05:00

Model: Allison
Photographer: Leah Rose Ershler
Stylist/Make-Up/Assistants: Christian & Hannah

About two days ago I helped a friend out with a photo shoot. She is an aspiring photographer and she is good. The model is gorgeous, yes? My favorite picture is the fifth one from the top, amazing actually no I love them all. The first two were from a while back when there was still snow. We only got those two shots because we were all sinking and snow and were on this huge hill. It sucked I was frozen and that hair and make up took about an hour and a half. For this recent photo shoot which was inspired by the 40s pin up girls was done about two days ago. I did the hair and some of the lips. Helped picked out the dress (hm wish the outfit was a little cuter :/ but it was all she had) and was an assistant which meant moving something or fixing her hair or making sure she didn't fall over and die cause her heels were sinking into the mud. That day was very gloomy and it was lightly raining and freezing so you can imagine how brave the model is. The second picture from the top that day was also freezing and there she is in a little vest and t-shirt. So much wind too!

Now for my complaints: I wish the lip rings could have been taken out. I also wish that the photographer would take more chances. I mean she has good pictures but at times I think its her models doing all the work and making the pictures look fantastic. Because she has had some well...erhm ugly(ish?-not hideous just very plain and boring) models, and those don't turn out as amazing. She doesn't even try to make them look good. She won't take risks with the poses they all almost look the same. We'll try to give her ideas and she just discards them all thinks they're all outrageous but isn't that almost the point? I just wish there was more fun shots in there. The model wasn't afraid to get dirty, I wanted something more woo, you know?

Solution: Well Hannah and I will be doing a shoot with Allison again...only without Leah. We just want to do something totally out there and fun. Allison has the same camera as Leah and Hannah is a pretty decent photagrapher, we want to keep doing more and evolve into better stylists/photographers/blah blah everyone is famous now. I take it semi-seriously since I would like to style but really it is just fun. Getting the model ready then taking the pictures and looking at the results.

What do you think? Which one is your favorite?

--Christian Castillo

...and if you say I'm not OK, then that's the goal

2009-04-23T21:41:00.003-05:00

I think this is the part where the beginning starts. It seems that finally, my life has begun to clear up. I was keeping way to many impossibles from blocking my view. I am terrible at school especially history. I hate history actually. I love learning about the 1950s and I love learning about the media and fashion but other than that it just doesn't phase me, you know? The point of all of this is that, I have terrible grades. They started going downhill somewhere and I was having to much fun to go and catch them. My freshmen year is a blur of skipping, the Froth House (cute little cafe), the Co-op and so many friendships that only stayed strong because of skipping. I really miss those people.

A while back though, I went and looked at all my grades and my GPA and I just shut down my computer, I was disgusted - horrified. I had nothing to say. I just thought, it can't possible really be that. It was though. I talked to my counselor holding my breath. As soon as I stepped out of that office. I broke down into complete tears. I told none of my friends about it, I just kept it to myself. Thankfully it was after school. I talked it about with a teacher who saw me. She reassured me it would be okay, there was tons of possibilites out there, but that was not good enough for me.

Why? I suddenly saw how everything I did and I tried and failed at was never for me. I tried and lived for others. I have been trying to have a 'hey in your face moment' for my dad's family. Trying way above my level to try an impress their stupidity. Trying so hard for my mom. She works so hard for us and I just want to show her how much I care. To show my dad what he missed. To show my friends and everyone. Because, I'm not known for doing work, I mean sure it's fun to be known as the hilarious-fashion/advice-sexual-chill-go to person but if anyone hears of me doing work they just laugh.

And it's not fair (and none of that 'nothing is fair' bullcrap)!

I have been crying over impossible things. Not going to a big school Yale, Harvard, Boston, Brown all of those. I am not going to be a doctor or a lawyer or a dentist. I don't know how much I really want to be a psychologist or am I just chasing it for the money and because in some way it is a doctor and that would make my mom happy?

Well, I'm tired of it.

Because I have come in touch with my real dreams. The ones I have kept hidden for so long because it is impossible and unstable. Fuck that y'all. I want to be a journalist. I want to interview people, I want to work for a magazine, I want to work behind the scenes at runway shows (I'd love to walk them too but erhmmm...I don't believe I'm THAT attractive), I want to eventually write my own book. So I'm going to do it. I've already started and I'm so proud of myself.

Joining the newspaper at school, job shadowing a stylist and editor of a local magazine, talking to a psychologist just to see if I still want to persue, doing lots of research on fashion, watching documentaries, looking up journalists, signed up for tons of magazines and read every article (because I actually do enjoy reading it front to back not just looking at the pretty pictures, thank you very much). I am also rediscovering myself and I think that is a very important step because without I'm just copying and pasting from all these things.

I am so happy because ever since I was little I've been obsessed with fashion with the glossy magazines with the beautiful tall people and then a lot of shit happened and I hid my dreams more and more and finally I've let them burst and damn I feel so free y'all.

I'm finally for once doing this for me and nobody is going to stop me!

The Memory Keeper's Daughter

2009-04-22T21:46:00.002-05:00

The Memory Keeper's Daughter officially made me tear up, just a bit. I was reading it during my last hour and it hit so close to home in a way. It sucked because it just pulled all these emotions out of me but I had to hold back. I actually have never read a book that has really made me want to burst into tears like a little baby. Book have made me sad, happy, transported me to lala land, made me feel angry. Never really though have made me want to cry. Sometimes I have to remind myself: Christian, this is fiction. Because I start to fall in love with characters or I hate them. I wonder what they'd be like - while reading a section about someone else I think to myself I wonder what 'insert a character name' is doing? I really really really recommend this book. It has made me smile, it has made me furious to the point I don't want to read, it has kept me up to 3 sometiems 4 A.M., it has inspired me, it has made me cry. Kim Edwards (author) has an incredible understanding of people.

I'm off to read now, need to finish this book tonight.

:)

How is your life going?

Summer Worries, A Thank You, and Ideas

2009-04-19T19:09:00.005-05:00

(Vintage jean shirt! So comfy.)

I was thinking about summer. I don't know if I should be jumping for joy or be in misery. Seeing as I have summer school, some other classes I'm taking to add on to a resume. I just want to do so much academically this summer and, it sucks. I really want this summer to be the summer I've always dreamed of having. Instead, I'll be busy busy busy.

I just hope I still get time for fun. Last summer, near the end two friends and I slept outside on a balcony. It was horrible, but so much fun. Just sitting there in the dark, stars surrounding us, covered in blankets and pillows, throwing food, blasting the music, summer breeze. It was beautiful and scary because we were on the fourth or fifth floor. and there were only bars protecting us from falling. It was so nice to wake up with the sun rays gently touching your face. Try it some time.

I also want to thank everyone who's been following and that reads these random little rants, thanks for the comments too xx. I need some suggestions on what I should have on here. There are weeks where I just blank on topics. So if anyone has a request for something please do tell.

At the moment I'm working on a short story, except it's actually kind of long. It's about a girl, Nicole who in short runs away but her parents think that she has been accepted to a very nice college so not wanting to disappoint her parents she makes fake acceptance letter and runs off to a small town for a while. Then she has a breakdown and returns. It's weird but it's just for a class.

I started writing a short story a while ago about this philosophical socialite by the name of Claire who dies (I may potentially have her fake her death instead) and something is just all wrong with the whole picture. That is when the only person she ever loved, Antonio comes in. They were never a 'thing' because neither believed nor had time for relationships. Its sort of a Chuck and Blair + super hipster + more drugs ++ death drama and tons of millions of dirty secrets.

Thoughts??